Three Signs of a Highly Likeable Person
Accurately spotting and implementing these signs is a valuable life skill.
There are important reasons to be able to spot somebody that is likeable. There are two kinds of people that get attention and make tons of impact — (the bully or cocky person) and the (likeable, charismatic person). You don’t want to be a bully. You want to be a charismatic person.
Knowing the signs I’m about to tell you will not only help you differentiate the bully from the charismatic person, but it will also help you apply them to your own life to make yourself more likeable. Having this skill has a lot of life benefits and the best part about it is, it’s pretty simple — let me begin.
They Don’t Gossip Behind People’s Backs
At least not unless they have all good things to say about them. There’s this thing called ‘spontaneous trait influence’.
“Spontaneous trait inference is the term utilised in social psychology to describe the mechanism that causes individuals to form impressions of people, based on behaviours they witness them exhibiting.”~Wikipedia
What this is telling us is, in an instant, people can judge your overall personality by how they perceive or see you behaving. Now, if you keep talking bad about people, they will start associating those traits with you too.
You can use ‘Spontaneous Trait Inference’ to your advantage by only saying nice things about people. This way, you will be associated with those nice things and people will trust you more. I don’t like bad-mouthers — do you?
Their Body Language is [Chef’s Kiss]
Body language is a whole can of lovely worms I can’t open fully in this piece as it could take forever to do it justice. So I’ll keep it simple. Body languages are non-verbal cues people give off mostly subconsciously that says a lot about their mood and personality.
Do you often find yourself lightly tapping the desk, checking your phone unnecessarily, fidgeting and folding your arms? If you are anything like me, you would say yes to a few of those. They are all signs of nervousness. You do them when you feel uncomfortable.
Likeable and charismatic people have the best body language. The way they carry themselves spell ‘I am open and nice’. They don’t fold their arms all the time as that can come off as being closed. They don’t check their phones unnecessarily especially when they are talking to people. Instead, they do these things…
- They maintain eye contact to show interest in who they are talking to but make sure they look away just at the right time to prevent coming off as threatening.
- They smile often to seem more approachable.
- They gesticulate naturally to help convey what they are saying. This is the act of moving your arms to help explain your points.
- They match their body language with who they are talking to as it helps build rapport
There’s more but I don’t want to drag this for too long. Told ya it gets pretty bulky. But seriously, even trying your best to maintain eye contact when talking to somebody can go a long way to making yourself more likeable.
They Become Sherlock Holmes
Likeable and charismatic people are very curious about people’s lives. They genuinely want to know more about the person they are talking to — so they ask appropriate questions about them. The keyword there is appropriate. You don’t want to ask insanely personal questions about people. That’s just creepy.
A study done in 2012 at Harvard by researchers found something pretty interesting. They found talking about yourself makes your brain release the same chemicals similar to when you are doing something pleasurable. This shows that people love talking about themselves.
Have you ever noticed that charismatic people seem to know a lot about a lot of people? They inquire about people’s lives in a manner that makes them feel very comfortable and happy to talk. They also try to remember those things as well so they can bring them up later — this shows that their interest is genuine.
If you want to be likeable and charismatic, you need to do this as well. Even asking what somebody’s favourite food is and remembering it when you both go to a restaurant can go a seriously long way to getting that person to like you.
Conclusion and Takeaway
Society has placed a huge priority on charismatic people. They run the world. Being able to spot them and take notes on how they behave can help you a long way. There’s no way to 100% gauge or spot somebody that is authentically charismatic — but if they do these 3 things, chances are high that they are.
- They don’t talk negative things about people behind their backs
- They use effective body language like maintaining eye contact to their advantage
- They become ethical detectives by asking genuine questions about people’s lives. By the way, who doesn’t like Sherlock?
