Three Words to Help You Regulate
“Part of me…”
Shai is sitting in his chair in our clinic. “I can’t do this anymore… I’m done with this marriage… I’m hopeless.”
It’s been three months since his wife, Molly, found out about his affair. They decided to go to couples therapy and give it a chance. We are about two months into the therapy. They are at one of the lowest part of the rough process of relational healing and trust building.
“She keeps asking me more questions about the affair… We’ve been through it so many times… I’m in deep despair. I want to quit. I can’t do this anymore.”
Molly is listening and quietly closing up. He kneels forward. His whole body collapsing further into the chair. He is out.
I ask him does he wants me to help him.
He says, “I’m not sure… Ok. What?
I get up and walk over to my white board and write three words:
“Part of me…”
I say to Shai: “Part of me is hopeless. There’s a part of me that wants to quit.”
I ask him to repeat that sentence several times. He slowly starts saying that sentence again and again.
The energy in the room begins to change…
