Throuple, Poygamy, Polyamory. Acceptable — Unless You Cheat
Is this the end of cheaters?
If you have read my stories, you must have read that I spent years living in abuse. One man decided that he owned the chessboard, decided I was another pawn on the board, decided to play me, decided to give me the life of his dreams, decided to break my spirit when I didn’t move according to plan and decided my punishments. But, how does this tie into my topic?
In retrospect, I found out that my crime for which he abused me were because, I did not answer ‘our’ hypothetical conversations to his tastes:
- What do you think about polygamy?
Answer: What do I care? I wouldn’t be in one.
- What do you think about a man having multiple families?
Answer: What do I care- if they all agree? I am African. This is no biggie in our culture but everyone should agree.
- Are you going to leave me if I cheat?
Yes because cheating is lying. Just be honest with a person- whatever happened to your integrity and their time? Live anyhow you want, just be honest upfront. Also, if your perspective on life changes, have an open, honest conversation with the relevant people.
- I believe a man is allowed to have as many sex partners as he wants. I believe women are built differently- to be nurturers and maintain the home and overlook their cheating partners because it is in a man’s DNA to procreate with all the women he lusts after. What do you think?
Answer: I think ANY man is free to do WHATEVER he wants- so long as he gives the women he comes across, the freedom to choose- just as he has freedom to choose.
Thing is- I thought my ex and I were having open and honest dialogues. What was real was, I had an incomplete information- he was cheating and raising these hypotheticals to see where my head was at. When after all those conversations, he realized that I was not changing my mind as he had hoped, he decided that the best way to go about it was-
That man abused me in ways I think only the devil himself would have done without conscience. Thing is- there was no devil- this was just a man who lived entitled to ‘living his best life and his truth’- and others fell in line or got abused.
What is your flavour: Throuple, Poygamy, Polyamory? I still maintain- I don’t care. I don’t think anyone should care. In my country, being gay nets you 14 years in prison. I think this is inhuman. What business do you have to tell a person who should lie in their bed?
How is being gay a crime but polygamy without consent of all parties, not? Why do I need permission from anyone to be in a throuple if that is what I (we)want? Why do I need the world to ‘let’ me have an open relationship with my consenting partner?
I think adults don’t need permission of the world to maintain relationships with equally consenting adults.
Throuple, Poygamy, Polyamory and all forms of these human relationships, are here to stay- for as long as humans exist.
My challenge is simple- can we all be honest about it?
I do not for a moment believe that my partner cared for me while he was abusing me. He was a narcissistic abuser who only cared about himself. He wanted me to accept his delusions so he can brag about how he has done what was hard to do- marry different women who are procreating indiscriminately for him, fighting for his attention and serving him without a single thought to lifting a finger for their own good.
All he had to accomplish this- money and being the greatest gender in the world- MALE.
His narcissism just failed to inform him that not everyone cared for his particular brand of fantasy. I didn’t and I paid in trauma and pain.
I am in a unique position, I believe, to share on Throuple, Poygamy, Polyamory because I come from a society that is quite liberal with men. They can get away with the murder of their female partner so long as they can. It is on the women to be submissive to death rather than have their man leave them. It is tragic so I can speak on this.
What I can also speak on is- honesty. I am often the naïve one in how ulterior people’s motives can be but, I will always stand on honesty.
Be honest with your partner about your sexual proclivities. The world needs to rise above the fix of sneaking around on honest, faithful people. You can enrage someone to madness when all you needed to do was- be honest.
Be honest with your partner and let them choose to leave, join you or stay. I mean, I was in a love triangle and LOVED It!
Be honest with your partner about what you all can be free (or not) to do. Some people want to give themselves all the liberty and restrict their partner- all good and fine IF you both agree. Again, be honest.
Honesty saves people’s time and sanity.
Honesty will help you discover more of yourself and more of your partner. It doesn’t matter how it plays out: Throuple, Poygamy, Polyamory- whatever. They are acceptable these days- unless you Cheat.
Thank you for reading. Buy me coffee?
