To the Emotionally Unavailable Partner: Love Me or Leave Me Alone

Don’t disturb my peace for your entertainment

Photo by Marina Nazina on Unsplash

Emotionally unavailable partners mystify me sometimes. If someone isn’t ready for a relationship, why date? Why put other people through that rollercoaster? It seems unkind.

But of course, emotionally unavailable people often lack self-awareness. Sometimes, even the self-aware ones think they’re ready to connect only to find out that they simply cannot do it. They want love and connection, but they don’t know how to navigate vulnerability and intimacy to get it. Leaving is easier.

But honestly? Sometimes, I wish they’d have left me alone in the first place. I know it’s better to have loved and lost — yada, yada, yada — but it’s also incredibly painful. I have to heal from someone else’s lack of readiness when I was ready, healthy, and available for love.

Love Me — Or Leave Me Alone

I worked hard to put myself out there with an open heart. I’d gone to therapy and learned to communicate clearly. I did all the work — only to get my heart shattered once again. I had to go back to the beginning, picking up the pieces someone else broke because they weren’t ready to be careful with my heart.