Unhappily Married: What’s Best for the Kids?
Together or Apart? Karen Young helps you think through an impossible choice.
By Karen Young
Deciding whether to stay in an unhappy marriage or leave is possibly one of the hardest decisions a parent could make.
Sometimes despite the greatest ‘happily-ever-after’ intentions, a relationship can become a tense, unhappy, conflicted union. If this is the case there’ll be no hiding it from the kids — they’ll know and according to a growing body of research, they’ll wear the impact.
A number of studies have pointed to the negative impact of divorce on children but there is compelling research suggesting that many of these problems have their roots in the conflict and tension that preceded the breakup. It is widely accepted that parental conflict does damage, particularly when it is any of the following:
- frequent;
- heated (verbal insults and raised voices);
- physically aggressive;
- unresolved (in the child’s eyes);
- about the child;
- brings on the silent treatment between parents.
Parents will do anything for their children and this may fuel the decision to stay together in an…
