“What Are You Wearing Right Now?”
When sending selfies is the eternal conundrum.
How often have I gotten the infamous “What are you wearing?” question from a potential affair partner?
Way too often.
“Ummm, dirty yoga pants and an old top with stains.” The truth ain’t gonna fly, peeps. I can add, “My hair is in a very messy bun, and I don’t have a stitch of makeup on.”
Picture that, dude. Does it make you hard?
It seems most men want a pornstar instead of a real person. Most of us eat chips on the couch in front of Netflix at home, making a mess of ourselves. We aren’t in designer clothes lounging with lipstick on. Or in some skimpy negligee with side boob hanging out.
I should answer, just to fuck with them, “I’m sitting here naked with my legs spread, waiting for you to ask me…” Are you getting a boner now, babe?
“Do you want me to lie?” is my go-to.
Cause, I ain’t telling the truth.
Guys who ask me, “What are you wearing?” aren’t the right ones.
Nope.
That demand triggers my rebellious streak. I want to make myself as unsexy as possible.
“A penguin onesie,” one…
