What bad boys can teach good dudes (and vice versa)

Jason Henry
Hello, Love
Published in
5 min readAug 21, 2023

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Typically I like to talk about relationships from a more psychological perspective, but I’ll take a break today and speak more casually about dating.

For the most part, society values righteousness and righteous people. We want the good guys to win and the bad guys to lose. Otherwise, life would be a nightmare because bad people hurt people, right?

And yet, virtually all heterosexual men would agree that you can’t be too righteous with women. If you’re too good, you get put in the friendzone or worse, be labeled her “brother.”

The problem with this is that as a kid or a teenager, you’re still prone to black and white thinking. So if you think that girls only want bad boys, and you want a chance with her, you have to drop the nice guy stuff completely and become the biggest jerk ever.

No point in lying; it could work. However, you might not keep her because jerks are selfish and tend to ruin a good thing. And while I’ll address that issue later, I want to first focus on how to be a good dude or even a nice guy and maintain your moral core while still becoming more “bad” or getting more “edge.”

Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? To be bad, to gain that edge that women like, start telling the truth.

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Jason Henry
Hello, Love

Former Edu. Psychologist | Current Writer | Constant Learner | “By your stumbling the world is perfected.”