What I Learned from Being on a Dating App for a Year
My experience of going on multiple dates over the course of 365 days.
In today’s day and age it seems like online dating is the only way to meet people. I told myself I’d never use one of those apps, but last year, when COVID-19 was at it’s peak, I caved.
I was listening to the radio on my way to work that morning and the dating app, Hinge, was offering $100 if you were able to score a date and prove you actually met up. I’m a single female in my twenties living in Los Angeles. Seemed doable enough. Getting $100 and potentially meet the love of my life? Sign me up.
I made a profile and within seconds, all kinds of guys were “liking” my pictures or commenting on my prompts.
‘Wow’, I thought, ‘online dating is easy’.
Spoiler alert. It’s not.
Don’t lead him on if you know it’s not going to work
I matched with a guy who seemed trustworthy enough to meet up with for the “$100 date”. His pictures were normal and he seemed nice. He lived a city over and we seemed to have similar interests.
We met up during the day and got to know each other the way two people do on a first date. The more we talked, the more I realized we’d be better off as friends. Despite my hunch, I still agreed to meet up for dinner and drinks later on. I kept hinting at my attempt at being friends, but it seemed to go right over his head. We confirm with Hinge we met and I ended up texting him the next day to let him know we’re better off as friends.
In hindsight, I shouldn’t have gone on multiple dates with him. I guess it’s easier to say yes than it is to reject someone.
Don’t ask questions that are too personal
I matched with a guy who I thought was The One. I skimmed his profile and I liked what I saw. He looked great, had a great job, and he wanted the same things I did. We exchanged numbers and began texting daily. I had my first FaceTime date with him. It went so well I put the other guys on hold. I felt comfortable with him, I thought I could talk to him about anything, but apparently a question about body count is out of line.
It raised the questions, should I be able to ask my potential significant other everything and anything? Or did I scare him away too soon? I’m not quite sure.
Maybe don’t go to his apartment on the first date
I matched with an English guy who I had many things in common with. We watched similar shows on Netflix, played video games, and were both interested in soccer. He had this idea that I should go to his place as a first date, which looking back, is a terrible idea. And it was, but not for the reason you might think.
Upon arrival, I was circling around his apartment trying to find parking. After being rather difficult to reach, I met him outside. He greeted me and led me inside his apartment. So what did we do once we went inside his apartment? Well, after a short tour, we watched videos of people playing video games on YouTube. That’s it. Hungry? Oh, let me make you some beef with boxed rice. Thirsty? Stay here and let me grab some wine and then whatever happens happens ;) No, thank you. He said he had plans around 9pm, so he kicked me out. Still buzzed, I took a two-hour nap in my car before driving home.
It was pretty apparent neither one of us contacted the other after that date.
Maybe He’s Just Not That Into You
I matched with a Swiss guy with who was rather creative in starting conversations. I was intrigued and initiated the first date because he was cute. You can’t go wrong with a Swiss and a Swede, right? My excitement got the best of me and I planned a date at a brewery near my place. Upon arrival, I realize the brewery is closed. He arrives in his motorcycle and when he removed his helmet to expose his luscious brown hair, it was like a scene out of a movie.
We decide on a close by Mexican restaurant, but we didn’t find out until we were seated how loud it was. So there we were, trying to get to know each other over loud Spanish music/karaoke. This guy liked to talk, so I let him. I gave him my number and confirmed I had a great time, even though deep down I knew we weren’t the best match. I decided to go out on a limb and suggest another date. He told me he was busy with work.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was really busy. Then I hit him up again. Again, he was busy. I learned that if you really want to see someone, you’ll make time for them.
And lastly, be open
At this point, I’m about to give up on dating apps altogether. That’s until I met a guy from the East Coast who revealed on the first date he has a two-year old daughter. I’m iffy on dating guys with kids, but I let him in on the fact that I’ll be going to grad school in another country, so why the hell not? We click and we have fun together. We have our disagreements from time to time, even though we’re supposed to be in our “Honeymoon Stage”. The attraction is there and I believe he has my best interest at heart. I keep thinking that it’s going to end by the time I leave to Sweden, but he says we’ll be together when I return. So we’ll see.
The Takeaway
The last guy got me deleting Hinge. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m leaving or because I genuinely want to be exclusive with him. Maybe it’s both. It’s difficult to know whether dating is about finding that perfect person or looking beyond certain flaws because the perfect person doesn’t exist. Either way, I’m still seeing him to this day.
