What if You Are Enough?
What if you are enough exactly as you are now?
What if you are enough exactly as you are now?
The mind has a belief: “Things are not good enough as they are now and I need to do something to improve or fix myself or life”.
When we believe that, we bring that belief with us into our relationships. If you feel like your missing something when your not with someone, it’s quite likely that this belief is operating in your mind.
This belief, comes from a perception of there being something wrong with us the way we are. So inside, we feel broken and not good enough. In our relationships, this looks like us putting an invisible pressure on who ever we are with to be our saviour. We can be anxious if they don’t message us back instantly because we have put all our hopes and expectations on them loving and adoring us.
This pressure constricts the sense of freedom in the relationship and if not addressed, can lead to a build up of resentment. We can all unconsciously sense when someone wants something from us — be it love or money — and automatic resistance is generated within ourselves.
On the other hand, when we feel truly free — like someone doesn’t want anything from us and is graciously giving of their time, love, and attention without expectation — we are more than happy to give back and will go out of our way to share the love.
This is an important principle to acknowledge in relationships. Wanting is a source of resistance and friction. Giving free of expectation is a source of growth and upliftment of all involved.
If we feel like we aren’t enough or don’t have enough, naturally we will want to get more; be it love, money, or approval. If we feel whole and complete, naturally we feel as though there is more than enough to give and so everything blossoms in our lives.
The Trickster Mind
Funnily enough, the mind tells us when we feel not enough, we are more motivated to grow but that’s a lie. This is like trying to grow a plant by poisoning it and limiting it of sunlight and oxygen.
When we feel enough as we are now and at peace with our present situation — whatever it may be — then growth is possible. In the space of acceptance and love, growth occurs spontaneously.
The worse thing we can do for our growth is believe that we are not enough or that life isn’t good enough. This just brings us misery and doesn’t help anyone; not our loved ones or ourselves.
So how can we help ourselves? How can we feel enough and release the inner pressure we carry of not feeling like we have done enough or are enough?
Well, it starts by recognising that feeling within ourselves. It might sound obvious, but the hardest part is actually noticing:
“Oh wow, it feels like I’m not enough.”
Most of us go most of our life not recognising that. We are so afraid of the feeling that we don’t want to even acknowledge it’s presence. Out of shame and pride, we refuse to consider the possibility that we may be carrying around many un-resolved inner conflicts and inner pressures.
The willingness to acknowledge a feeling as it is, without judgement, is the first and often hardest step. For many of us it feels difficult because as we grew up, we learnt that our feelings were not important. So it is a big step to begin to question that pattern and allow ourselves to acknowledge feelings compassionately.
Once noticed, then we can compassionately release any judgement around that. With any negative feeling, there tends to be judgement or a desire to change it (which is judgement itself). We can release judgement with a simple question:
“Could I let go of any judgement about this?”
As judgement is released, it starts to feel more ok that the feeling is there. Think about your own experiences for a moment. When you feel acknowledged and accepted as you are, you may notice that you feel more ease and any frustration tends to melt away.
That is the power of gently allowing a feeling to be; as you do so, it melts all by itself.
It’s ok to feel whatever you feel. That is what I have found to be the key with myself and the people I’ve worked with. Now, it’s easy saying that but can sometimes feel tricky to actually experience that for ourselves.
If this is the case for you, there are two things you may find helpful:
- Listen to this free podcast episode — it will guide you through the process in an effortless way.
- Book a free 30 minute call here and experience it in the most powerful way — watch as problems melt and the truth of what you are shines forth.
Lastly, I’ll leave you with a question:
Are you willing to consider the possibility that you are enough exactly as you are now? If there is resistance to hearing that, could you welcome that resistance?
In the all embracing welcome, everything dissolves.