What You Think About Your Spouse Is How You Experience Them
“The way you think about your spouse is the exact way you will experience them.” — Jody Moore
What do you think about your spouse?
How do you envision them?
Is that picture true?
Is it really true?
Or are YOU making it true?
Most people mistakenly think that their circumstances are their reality. However, your eyes tend to show you what your mind tells them to see. And by changing your thoughts, you can change what you see.
The Power of Your Thoughts
The purpose of dissecting your beliefs isn’t to create self-doubt, it’s to create empowerment. To help you see that you’ve really been living in paradise all along and give yourself permission to experience it to its fullest.
“To know thyself is the beginning of all wisdom” — Socrates
As you begin examining your thoughts, you quickly become aware that everything you see on the outside is merely a mirror of what is going on inside.
Your brain focuses on what you tell it to — deleting, distorting, and generalizing the excess information to fit into your preconceived narrative.
It’s easy to see this in other people.
So, let’s dive into a quick example and see what’s really going on:
Assumption: I’m mad because my spouse is cold-shouldering me.
Now, ask yourself these amazing questions that Byron Katie devised in her book, “Loving What Is.”
Ask yourself: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
Yes, it may be true that you’re mad, and yes, it may be true that your spouse is exhibiting traits of someone cold-shouldering me, but can you be 100% certain that‘s what they are doing?
And if those two things are true, can you be absolutely certain that the cold-shouldering is what’s making you mad? You cannot. Why? You might imagine an individual that wouldn’t be bothered at all by their spouse could-shouldering them. In fact, I know one or two people that might actually enjoy getting that treatment — having an extra second or two to themselves.
The key: It’s not the cold-shouldering, it’s the meaning that you give it.
Establishing that the thought is just a thought gives you significant freedom. You can choose to keep it, learn from it, or drop it.
For example: When you think that it’s true, how do you feel? And, when you feel that way, how do you act?
Often, people might find themselves acting in a way that could be classified by an outsider as “Cold-shouldering.” Either by cold-shouldering their spouse or by cold-shouldering themselves — closing themselves off to their emotions and numbing themselves rather than experiencing reality.
When you turn it around on yourself and see the mote in your own eye, it gives you tremendous power.
You can hear what you need to hear…
See what you need to see…
And learn what you need to learn to drop the feeling and act from an empowered state.
Conclusion
What you think about your spouse is the way that you experience them.
And by dissecting your thoughts, you can give yourself real power. Put the ball back in your court for how you experience your spouse.
Choose good thoughts. Thoughts about your spouse that lift and inspire you, not drag you down.
After all, negative thoughts affect your reality. Your perspective.
You’ve got this!
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