RELATIONSHIPS

When the Intersection of Sexual Appetite and Compatibility Causes Friction in Your Relationship

Pretending it’s a non-issue is harmful to both parties.

Lola Rosario
Hello, Love
Published in
5 min readSep 11, 2022

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Image: Matheus Ferrero on ISO Republic

Forget health clinics and gyms. Sex is the best cure. One good night of sex and your problems are gone. ~ Grace Jones, Model, Singer & Actress

I’m no sex therapist, but I do know a pinch about relationships. What to do when one of us wants to get going, but the other is disinterested?

When this question recently came up, I thought to put myself in the shoes of both persons in the troubled union. Is it simply a phase or is there something else going on behind the scenes?

Many of us have heard that women reach their sexual peak later than men. Us around 35ish, the boys at 18ish. Whether you buy into the theory or not, it’s clear there’s a difference in one’s appetite.

One thing is certain, sexual desire discrepancy (SDD) is real. Addressing it, rather than ignoring it, is a step in the proactive direction.

Come Clean

It’s normal to not want to have sex — at least sometimes. You could be tired, have your mind occupied elsewhere, or your partner might be going through their own dry spell.

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