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When the Narcissist Ignores Your Boundaries
Anyone who has ever dealt with a narcissist in any context (family, work, intimate relationship) knows that boundaries are essential.
By Ann Betz
Anyone who has ever dealt with a narcissist in any context (family, work, intimate relationship) knows that boundaries are essential. But what about when your boundaries are simply ignored?
I live out in the country on a few acres. I have lovely neighbors and it’s my sanctuary. Recently I was out for a walk along the road and I noticed that someone had been using a part of my property as a turnaround (rather than driving the equivalent of half a city block to the cul-de-sac at end of the road where it is easy — and logical — to turn around). It’s sort of an open space, but I was not happy to see tire tracks on the dirt and small plants run over.
Hmm, I thought, maybe they don’t realize this is not part of the road. So I moved some small rocks to mark the edge of my property and make it clear it’s not a place to drive upon. The next morning, it’s clear someone has driven right over the rocks, ignoring my simple boundary. I’m really mad now. I find a local guy who has large rocks on his truck and arrange for him to come up to my house. These rocks are heavy and we have to drop them off the truck bed in just the right place because they’re really hard to move. “That’ll do it!” I think with satisfaction. Nope. The next morning one of the large rocks has been pushed aside and my land driven onto once again (must be a big truck).
I’m furious at this point. It takes me 10 minutes to move the rock back into place and I am steaming and wondering what the heck it is I need to do to make it clear I will NOT tolerate them driving here. I go to the hardware store and get No Trespassing and a This Property is Under 24-Hour Surveillance signs, metal posts, and 12 pieces of short rebar. I put up the signs, reinforce the rocks with the metal posts so they are hard to move, and randomly pound in short pieces of rebar along the tire tracks (I mark these with empty wine bottles so it’s clear something is there). It looks ridiculous, but it works. My land, thus defended, is undisturbed.
