When You “Abandon” the Narcissist
What happens when you let them go.
We’re going to take on a question that we often don’t think about with narcissism, but it’s a big part of the dynamic, which is abandonment.
When we play out the usual narcissistic relationship cycle, idealization, devaluation, discarding and hoovering. It can look like the narcissist is fully in control.
It feels like the narcissistic person is the one pulling the strings, doing the love bombing, engaging in seduction or doing the deep die into pseudo empathy. And once they have you, they start getting uninterested in you, they devalue you.
It’s their contempt at the point they have you and their incapacity for intimacy. The chase is typically the most engaging part of a relationship for a narcissistic person. Then oftentimes it’s them who decides to leave or at least threatens to leave.
But sometimes and I would argue far more often than you would think. People leave narcissists. In fact, as we get more awareness of narcissism and narcissistic abuse, I think people are actually leaving narcissistic relationships more often than we think. Because people recognize that these patterns are probably not going to change.
When you leave a narcissistic relationship in general, the narcissist does not like it…
