When You Don’t Love Them Back
Are you to blame?
Since writing on Medium, I’ve had the good fortune of having people from around the world to write me. They’ve all got marriage woes. I’m appreciative of it; I don’t feel isolated in my upside-down life.
One common theme emerges from most messages: they want me to stay because they love me but I feel guilty because I don’t feel the same way back.
Anyone on the outside looking in would tell someone, “why would you want to stay with someone who doesn’t feel the same way back?” Maybe that works when you’re 20 and have a life ahead of you. It’s a different ball game when there’s kids, finances, and a history.
Warning: I may or may not have gone overboard with the analogies when writing this.
Sunk Costs
My brother bought a property in another country, hoping to rent it out. It failed and he walked away from it all. I don’t remember how much he lost, but there were a terrifying number of zeroes.
“I need to make up for the costs. I need to save it all back up,” he tells me. My brother has a full-time job, he wasn’t going to lose his home.
“Why do you need to find additional money to make up for the money you lost? What happens if you just…don’t?” I replied.
