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Where Have All the Women Who Pay on First Dates Gone?
Where for art thou, Juliet?
After dating a handful of guys, I’ve found that most of them prefer to pay on the first date. They don’t just expect to pay but assume that the woman won’t. As a rule of thumb, I always pay for things on the first date when the guy has already paid for something else. If he picks up the bill for drinks, I will pay for dessert. It’s just a way of communicating that I know money is hard-earned. Having a guy pay on the first date also implies something transactional — either sex or unjustified enamourment from the woman. And those things are worth much more than a meal or cocktail.
Every time I pay on the first date, though, I see an expression on my date’s face that is a mixture of joyous surprise and unintentional bewilderment. And it appears on the face of every guy I’ve dated. Imagine a copy-paste of the same expression atop an assembly line of men aged 18–35 from various races. Safe to say most men love it when women pay on the first date but rarely encounter it.
I recall chatting with another woman who was on the dating scene in which she joked about the reaching for the wallet bit. It’s called a bit because she doesn’t expect to pay — or even crazier, she rarely has her wallet with her. As an adult, I can’t imagine not going everywhere with my wallet…
