While You Were Quietly Quitting

Why I held onto someone who wasn’t holding onto me.

Crystal Jackson
Hello, Love


Photo by Felix jr Serrano on Unsplash

Quietly quitting a relationship is one of the cruelest things we can to do to another person. That slow fade might make it easier for the person who wants to end the romance to distance themselves from the other person, but it’s particularly painful to be the one still fully invested in a relationship that the other person is hoping to leave. There’s an easier way that’s both quicker and kinder — to end the relationship the moment we want to be done with it. But instead, they stay and hope we’ll be the ones to go.

Quiet Quitting

Quiet quitting is a term that emerged in the workplace to describe someone who stops investing in their work rather than quitting their job. They do the bare minimum and are unwilling to do more. There are a lot of reasons this happens — from feeling underpaid and unappreciated to ongoing stressors in the workplace. Regardless, it’s seen as worse than quitting because of how it impacts the work environment. It feels worse than quitting in relationships, too.

The first time someone quietly quit a relationship with me, I was stunned. Who does that? What kind of person would make someone intentionally unhappy just to avoid being seen as the bad guy? I left that relationship after doing absolutely…