Why Angry Breakup Threats Are Self-Defeating
Nuclear weapons are for war, not relationships.
If this hasn’t happened to you, consider yourself lucky. I’ve unfortunately had the pleasure on several occasions. It’s an uncomfortable position when the “nuclear option” is always just one text message away.
By “nuclear option,” I mean the threat of imminent separation, of relationship termination, of don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Over the years, my relationship journeys have come with many different twists, turns and endings: ultimatums, last chances, drunken outbursts of rage, infidelity and threats to block my number indefinitely.
All of these are bad, but nuclear threats during moments of anger and intense emotion are always a bad decision. It’s also an approach that ultimately sabotages the person using the tactic.
To be clear, I’m not saying I’ve never been partially to blame; I certainly have added momentum to arguments that were escalating, but I’ve never threatened total relationship destruction.
It’s a pretty petty way to shift the power dynamic, inflict maximum emotional damage and sidestep the real issue at hand. Based on my experiences, I’ve learned there are quite a few reasons this is a bad idea.
