Why Men Are Intimidated by Their Intimate Partners
The paradox of men’s lives is they have all the power but do not feel powerful.
The classic “Still Face” developmental psychology experiment begins with a mother and her infant child playing with each other as they normally do. The split screen makes it clear that they are in a conversation, each learning which funny faces and silly noises best elicit a smile from the other.
At a certain point, the mothers are instructed to turn away from their babies, and when they turn back, to have a “still face,” meaning not to show any emotion or respond to their babies in any way. Almost immediately, the babies become wary and escalate their efforts to reengage their mothers. Within minutes of these attempts failing, the babies start crying hysterically, so distressed that some of them lose bodily control.
Male infants are more distressed than female infants in the study. They show more facial expressions of anger and are more likely to try to escape the situation. The experimenters concluded that male infants need more help from their female caregivers to regulate their emotions. The male infants’ terrified wails of impotent protest are repeated in various forms in men’s fears in intimate relationships with women.
