You Should NOT Stop Them From Paying For The Date
Take your next steps based on one of these 3 possible scenarios.
With the rise of feminism along with other social movements, a constant burning question is being asked time & time again that who should pay for the date?
Should it be the chivalrous guy or the feminist girl?…
… Or maybe it should be the smart duo equally dividing the cost to the last penny?
I’m afraid if I don’t settle this down today, the ship of this whole dating culture may drown down to zero faster than the Titanic.
Look,
There isn’t just one answer because life is dynamic, but that doesn’t mean you’re going back empty-handed. Before I move ahead, do know that these options are completely independent of your gender. And so, you can happily apply them no matter who you are. :)
This Is How To Settle The ‘Who Shall Pay’ Dispute
If you had read my post on why does a guy or a girl wants to pay for their date, then you’ll have better chances to settle down the dispute in a peaceful manner ensuring a happy ending… or a happy continuation. ;)
See, regardless of your gender, there can be 3 general scenarios happening here.
1. YOU Invited Them on The Date
Since you’re asking them out, this implies that you may be planning the whole date. So naturally, you’re supposed to pay for it.
And here’s why:
You could be living in the city of Los Angeles, and planning an evening date to fly out to Paris. Needless to say, it’s going to be one expensive date and you can’t tell your date to pay any portion of that expense otherwise it’ll only feel like extortion to them.
Look, you don’t know that person’s financial situation. I know, I know a date to Paris is a bit exaggerating for most of us, but this goes the same for anything expensive like a fine dining restaurant (I don’t like such silent, personality-diminishing places anyway).
However:
You can and maybe you should discuss this with your date before planning the whole thing. If they agree to split the costs, then show some care by asking them a rough total cost expectation for this date — so both of you can avoid any unwanted surprises/fears.
But don’t judge if they gave you a big number (let’s say $500) because they may just be telling the maximum amount they can comfortably spend. You don’t actually have to spend that much… you can still do it in less than $100 in total if you can still make it a memorable date for both of you —
— that’s what matters in the end for the good people.
Trust me, if that person is genuinely a good person, if you describe it right, they’ll actually love you (not romantically yet, LoL) for that.
—
2. THEY Invited You on The Date
As I said above, the invited person is not expected to pay in general.
However, if they ask you beforehand for the possibility to share the costs, then you shall do it. This shows that you’re a team player and that you’re certainly not a freeloader.
Again, make sure to then tell them the amount range that you can comfortably pay for this date.
On the other hand:
If they didn’t ask you for cost splitting, but you do want to split — then just discuss this with them prior to the date, possibly as soon as you say to them for asking you out.
Naturally, most of them would want to know the reason for this. So, tell them about your why while staying as respectful as you can to them.
—
3. You MUTUALLY Agreed to go on The Date
“Maybe/I think we should go on a date”… “There’s this amazing thing happening in town, wanna join me there?”…
If the date is fixed as a result of conversations similar to above, then it’s a mutually agreed date. This is like an amalgamation of date and casual hangout.
Tinder dates are technically also mutually agreed upon dates since both of you are on those platforms with an intention of going on dates.
In such scenarios, it’s best to pay for your expenses or to equally divide the costs — either way is fine.
But Varun, What if My Date Doesn’t wanna Agree to any of these Terms?
The world would be so much more beautiful if there were no disagreements even after having best interests at heart.
Since that’s not the case, there can be many reasons why your date doesn’t want to budge from their stand.
Let’s say you did your best to make an intelligent argument in your favor, and now you’re losing all hopes. Then take one of these last resorts depending on your scenario:
- Let me pay this time, and you can pay for the next time. Cool?
- Okay, if you insist, you can pay this time, but I’ll be paying the next time. Cool?
—
Note: Just to be clear, you can edit & say the above lines in your own style. You don’t have to carbon copy them in front of your date… Haha.
This asserts that you’re not compromising on your stand while still respecting their stand as well.
Plus, you’re implicating that you’re looking to see them again should this date go well. And who besides a non-serious person would not want that?
Oh, Those Darn Red Flags
There’s a fine possibility that even the above said last resorts fail.
This is a clear indication that it’s your clue to figure out a good excuse and start running away faster than the Flash!
Regardless of how attractive they look or amazing their voice is, they’re NOT the right fit for you.
Since they can’t seem to agree with you on this one little thing today, you can clearly visualize how the future will look like should you still decide to keep hanging to them.
Sure, you can lie to yourself like every 3rd person that they’ll change by your influence. But tell me, honey, what unique thing can you do about it that others didn’t?
Quick Takeaways
In general, you can do whatever you want when it comes to paying on a date, but then you wouldn’t be reading this article. So, if you’re a fan of true justice or if you want to do what’s actually right, then follow these options —
Scenario 1: If you invite them, then you should pay in full or discuss the possibility to share the costs with them before the date.
Scenario 2: If they invited you, you’re not supposed to pay, but if they ask for a possibility, then you should. You can also offer to pay some without them asking if that’s what you want.
Scenario 3: On a mutually agreed-upon date, you should split the bills or just pay for your stuff.
It’s time to REJOICE because you’ll be able to come out truly happy on your date!
Now…
… that you know everything, I’d love to learn about how the topic of ‘who shall pay’ went during your date(s). They can be from the past or they can be after you applied the above tips. :)
