In my last post, I talked about 3 steps which I took to make me the powerful partner in the relationship.
But those are active steps to show that you are the stronger partner in the relationship and you lead the relationship.
But your wife will not function under your leadership until and unless she respects you well.
In my 15 years of relationship, I was mostly in a relationship where my wife dictated. If we were in disagreement on something, she was very abusive to prove her point.
I am not embarrassed to say today that I was weak.
But how from a weaker partner, I became a respected partner, that is a long story.
Looking back, I would say I made some changes in my life. Those changes were instrumental to increase my value as a partner.
When your value increases, people around you fear to lose you as you attract lots of attention in each sphere of life.
For example, I was a techie and worked in some big technology firms in different countries.
With strong technical skills and experience, I didn’t find it difficult to get calls from different companies for competitive positions.
My present organization tries to do almost everything to make me happy in my current role.
When you bring high value to the table, people around you respect you.
Now in a married relationship, how to bring respect?
In the following sections, I will talk about 4 steps which I took. These changes made my wife very respectful towards me.
Let’s focus on each of these changes below.
A masculine physique :
I was never a gym person. I was interested in soccer and baseball till my high school. But as I moved into college, I was totally into studies.
Due to my genetics, I was never obese. I am blessed with a slim figure but don’t look athletic or toned up.
I joined a local health club and focused on building a stronger and fit body.
I could feel the difference within myself. I could feel a lot of confidence within a few months.
If you are obese, focus on your diet and cardio exercises to lose weight.
If you’re slim and trim, focus on becoming athletic and masculine.
Believe me it will boost up your confidence.
A career with a future :
As a man, this is your unique selling point. It’s important whether you take care of your family well.
In my case, it was never an issue. I earned quite well than median household income and provided well for my family.
I didn’t take any further steps to do better in this area.
But if you lack in this point, then be focused on making your career your priority.
People often make a mistake by thinking he needs to work in the best possible place and earn the best possible income to earn respect from his partner. It’s wrong.
You need to be in a career where there is a possibility of high income in future. And you should be competitive enough to go up the value chain in that career.
For example, I consider myself as a thought leader in my industry. I not only exhibit high values in my company, I get opportunities to represent and talk in different forums. I get opportunities to write for magazines related to my niche.
My wife knows I am of high value in my career. She knows I will conquer more in future.
A woman values the leader in a hierarchy chain immensely.
If she understands you have the capabilities to be a leader in some domain, it’s irresistible for her to ignore you.
A functional wardrobe :
Now this was something which needed lots of effort from my side.
Throughout my life and career, I never thought dressing up is important.
I was casual in my office and anywhere. But I changed that.
It doesn’t mean you need to dress up all the time and look like a magazine cover model.
It’s about looking a little professional, having little more options in your wardrobe and having a few pairs of extra shoes.
The most important thing is to choose the clothes according to your physique.
I started wearing t-shirts and shirts which were slim fit and made me look more athletic and sporty.
I got a positive response from my colleagues and they were making comments about my physique and fitness.
My wife’s response was the opposite initially. She can sense, there is a change in the air.
She asked me — “Why am I dressing so well nowadays ?”.
I dodged the question by answering them with some fun. Like — “everybody in my office saying the same”.
I can feel that she was a little disappointed that I am not answering her questions directly.
I did not mind it. I remember the 3 rules of power. I already talked about them in my earlier post.
If your girlfriend or wife is making positive or negative comments because of a change of your dressing sense and smartness, rest assured you are doing it right.
Just do not pay attention to her. Keep doing the same thing and enjoy your day.
Communicate differently :
This is the most important part of the whole lot.
As you change your focus towards making yourself better, your wife will react in different ways.
You are taking care of yourself like never before. You are taking care of your body and getting attractive, taking care of your career and going to places and you are careful about choosing your clothes.
All these are strong changes which come one after another and there is every possibility that your gf or wife will react in a different way.
Please do not make your wife insecure about your changes. Be funny but short in your answer if she questions you.
Do not give direct answers to her questions.
Guys make the biggest mistake by answering her everything. You need to understand the art of creating a little mystery around you.
Just do all these in a slow fashion, so that your overall improvement is slow & gradual.
You are becoming a new “YOU” and your wife can understand that this new image can turn a lot of eyeballs. So, she is a little anxious.
Just focus on yourself and make yourself a better version in the next 6 months.
During my improvements I saw these reactions from my wife -
#1 She was a little skeptical & tense for the first few weeks.
#2 She started doing exercises to keep herself fit. Seems she was very insecure at this point.
#3 After a few weeks, when I was constantly improving my physique, changing my diets and focusing on my wardrobe, she was primarily focused on me.
#4 She was the most physical after a long time, post our marriage and kid. She was always feeling a little sexy and wanted me to do all kinds of things in bed.
Be aware of the following :
Do not tell her everything in life. Keep some secrets.
Do not say — “I want to improve my life to be a better person”. These kinds of things are attraction killers.
Do not discuss about your gradual improvements and why you are doing that.
Get busy with your life. Give some affection to your wife but do not be a nice guy and sing around her during this phase.
If she is giving her body to you, enjoy love making and let her know you love her company and appreciate her effort to feel you special.
