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You’re Destroying Trust Forever With These 3 Seemingly Innocent Behaviors
“TRUST is like a paper once it’s crumpled it can’t be PERFECT again.”― Oscar Auliq-Ice
There are countless relationships that fail, not because of great betrayals but tiny cracks that grew into gulfs.
“He is totally changed from before," she muttered to herself. “Watching someone fade from existence right in front of you.”
It started with little things. He began turning down his phone while at home, changed his passwords, and never shared them with her anymore.
Whenever she inquired about after-work plans—say, a late-night out—he evaded answering. In fact, all he allowed were vague, short answers from her whenever she wanted to know what generally happened during his entire day. “Fine,” “Good,” “Nothing special.”
She noted it but preferred not to be seen as paranoid or controlling.
Everybody deserves their space after all. But these little disconnected incidents accumulate like snowflakes.
And one day they are in an avalanche of distrust.
#1. The Deflection
You are at dinner. Your spouse asks what transpired at work last week. You smile and acknowledge, “Oh, it’s handled.”
Then you quickly shift the conversation to ask about their day. Seemingly innocent, right?
I also did that previously. Each of those diversions was like adding another brick to an invisible wall. When my partner broke down in the end, she said, “I feel like I am with a stranger.”
The raw truth is this: Deflection isn’t protection. Deflection is rejection.
Each time you brush aside sharing, you tell your partner, “You’re not safe enough for my truth.”
#2. The Comparison
“At least I’m not like Jean’s husband who...”
“Well, John’s wife lets him…”
“I never thought that comparing my relationship would ruin it,” my best friend said to me last week. He had recently broken up with Shella after their three-year affair.
