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You’re Not Ready for Real Love Until You Understand These 5 Things
#5. Allowing, “You’re free to be you.”
We all dwell in a paradoxical reality where love is both present in its omnipresence and its absence. At every turn this perennial theme finds its way into the plotlines of films, musingly sad songs, and every other Instagram caption that consists of talk about soulmates and heartbreak.
It’s paradoxical that so many people fall into the same pattern, more confused, more distressed, and more alienated. Why? Because most of us have never learned how to love — not in the deep, not with mindfulness, not as adults.
Psychotherapist David Richo’s book How to Be an Adult in Relationships carries the cold, hard truth that many of us wouldn’t want to hear.
Love isn’t enough. At least not in that way we are taught to chase-this dope rush, this validation, this fairy-tale ending, this love. Real love is something more and requires more of us.
It requires that we grow up.
Richo sketches five key ingredients that ought to be present in real. Without them, love becomes a battleground of unmet needs and silent expectations. With them, love becomes a space for growth, safety, and presence.
