I’m broken

How COVID-19 made me a Biden supporter

I haven’t worked in 9 weeks & no one is hiring. I have less than $1,000 left to my name. I haven’t paid rent in 2 months, because I can’t. I haven’t heard from New York Department of Labor on my pandemic assistance for 3 weeks. I can’t stay in my apartment.

I can’t apply for food stamps. I can’t get any other assistance. I’m currently packing up my home and I have nowhere to go. I haven’t spoken with my family in 3 years. Their state is opening back up and just reported its largest infection rate per day yet.

If I go live with family I’ll have to face the ugly traumas they’ve heaped on me.
I will be forced to live through that pain all over again. If I go live with friends I’ll be eating their food and taking advantage of their hardwork that I cannot repay.

This is the second time that my entire life explodes because of the ineptitudes and short-sightedness of Republicans.

I’m broken.

I’m not begging for money or help from those who are similarly struggling.
This is not the world I dreamed about in my youth.

This is not how I expected to grow old. I don’t want to be in New York. I’m broken but too numb to cry or rage. I just want to crawl in a corner and disappear. This disease, entirely avoidable, has killed my friends, my neighbors, & my future.

There’s no hope on the horizon.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no leadership lifting up those most impacted. There is no national plan. There is no empathy. There is no hope. There are no solutions. There is only failure upon loss upon death.

We’re left on our own.

They keep saying, “we’re working on it” but here we are, those who need the help most, struggling to survive, facing homelessness, facing ruin, facing destruction of our livelihoods, facing a loss so catastrophic it will take years to recover. This is a failure.

This is revealing all the privilege that divides this country. This is a catastrophe, not just of medical capacity & imagination, but a catastrophe of moral leadership. There is a void, a vacuum, a blackhole and it comes from the top destroying everything.

Who do I blame?
I blame Trump. I blame the GOP. I blame an economy so fixed on growth they ignored the poor. I blame a nation so obsessed with status they gleefully destroy the hopes of millions. I blame systemic racism and homophobia.

I blame the foolish & privileged idiots still running around without their masks on and ignoring the warnings of medical professionals putting those with medical issues at risk and prolonging this entire crisis. YES you Chad in the park with your 6 best friends & no masks.

So if you think during this crisis that your petty little feelings about your haircut, your missed happy hours, your favorite candidate not getting the presidential nomination matters — newsflash — it does not matter. We have to operate in reality & facts, scientific method is the guide here. We don’t get to be morally pure.

Real lives are at stake here.

Real human beings.

We’re in a crisis.We’re in the midst of one of the most catastrophic global disasters in human history. Lives are being destroyed. Lives are being lost. We’re literally in triage. We are a nation in triage. The most critical and emergent cases are attended to first pending they are, in fact, survivable, given the reduced capacity.

That means that your petty feelings about a longshot policies don’t matter right now. We’ll address it soon enough. A nation in triage means that we do what it takes to mitigate the cause of trauma and harm. That means we vote for Joe Biden.

A nation in triage means we uplift the policies that help the most people, the quickest, possible, where ever possible. A nation in triage means we operate with the tools we have at our disposal and the best known answers to today’s crisis. Now is not the time to experiment.

We must vote for Joe Biden.
Do I like it? Fuck no.
Do I want to struggle against his history? No.
Do I believe he was the best of the democratic nominees? No.
Do I think that his platform is good? Not by any stretch.
But we’re up against someone even worse

So yes, we’re triaging your feelings. We, the rational American public in this democracy triage unit are triaging radical ideas for immediate needs. We’re triaging your “moral outrage.” We’re triaging your bern. We’re trying to save lives right now. That matters most.

Joe Biden got more votes.
Joe Biden is the consensus choice.
Joe Biden is not the best.
Joe Biden is not everything we want.
Joe Biden is not going to force structural change.
Joe Biden is not going to excite you.
Joe Biden is not going to be the best president ever.

I never wanted to see Joe Biden as the nominee. I am not excited about him but I know I can push Joe. I know that voting for Joe Biden will move the dial in my favor, anything less is suicidal. Voting for any one else with all the information we have before us is criminal.

We can push Joe in the right direction.
We can push Joe toward a more equitable nation.
Voting for Joe will help me find a job.
Voting for Joe will help me secure healthcare.
Voting for Joe will help me find housing.
Voting for Joe will help my immigrant neighbors.
Voting for Joe will help me recover my losses.
Voting for Joe will help my friends who help me.
Voting for Joe will help me get back to school.
Voting for Joe will help me find good paying work.
Voting for Joe will help millions like me, lost and hurting.
Voting for Joe, is the only choice right now.

We don’t get to sit out the election.
We don’t get to vote third party.
We don’t get to bitch about the failings of of undemocratic system.
We don’t get to blame the DNC.
We don’t get to whine.
We just have to work.

I understand the grief. I understand the frustration with our electoral system. I understand the need for better policies. I understand the desire for a better candidate. I want that perfect candidate, but none exist. Every candidate is flawed.
ALL.
OF.
THEM.

But even in my grief & hopelessness and imminent homelessness I understand that I need to prioritize the political actions I take. The objective, in this time, is defeating Trumpism & the GOP’s stranglehold on our humanity & nation. Everything else is secondary to that aim.

I’m broken and the only thing, the ONLY thing, that I know will help give me hope to put the pieces back together again is the hope that my electeds will be fighting for me instead of actively trying to hurt me. My story is but one in a sea of millions upon millions.

So, I know you’re pissed Bernie didn’t win. I know you’re pissed that the GOP is failing. I know you’re scared that you lost your job. I know you’re angry your family member died alone. I know you’re hurt that your single issue just isn’t being addressed. We’re all hurting.

But in this time we need to come together. For this one time only let’s commit to voting for the party NOT actively trying to kill us all. I don’t care if you’re socialist, democrat, independent or republican. Just once, we all need to vote for Democrats and force change. We need to push Joe into forming a coalition of the left, a coalition of parties committed to uplifting the whole country and enacting a bold new deal for a bold new future. This time around that means electing Joe Biden.

I’m broken but I’m going to do my everything to force this government and the people around me to vote for the only option there is to save this nation and frankly save my life. I know, I will die in another Trump term. I will not survive it. I will not survive him.

So in my desperation, through tears & frustration, I, a poor, disable, queer, mixed American, I am begging you to put aside all your feelings and vote for Joe Biden.

Vote for Joe Biden, because we need you to.

Bring your friends, family, & strangers to vote for Joe.