Go Ask Your Mom: Kendra’s Granny
Kendra used this series as an excuse to interview her paternal grandmother, who lives in Edmonton, Canada. Kendra’s Granny, Gail, raised three children starting in the 1960s and now has five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
On pregnancy
How old were you when you had your first kid? What year was it?
I was 21 and that was 1962.
How do you remember feeling physically and emotionally during your pregnancy?
I was pretty good, overall. I was sick every morning almost the whole pregnancy, but because I was pregnant before I got married, I figured it was penance [laughter]. So I didn’t take any of the things that were being offered at the time, and that was when Thalidomide happened in Canada.
Do you remember feeling like you had support during your pregnancy?
From my husband. We didn’t see a lot of my folks because I was pregnant [out of wedlock]. My mother was really cross. She was not happy at all.
How has society’s treatment of pregnancy changed since your pregnancy?
I think it’s changed a lot. It changed in the next 5 years! By later on in the 1960s, it was free love and all those things. People were less concerned with guarding your virginity. And the pill came out in 1963 or 4. Before that time, it was condoms… which didn’t work [laughter].
On birth
Explain your first birth in three words.
Natural childbirth. And exciting.
Who was in the room with you while you gave birth?
One of my best friends was studying nursing and she was there at my birth. I introduce her as, “My friend who convinced me to have a natural childbirth, and then didn’t do it herself.” I was able to swing off of the delivery table and pad down the hall and phone my husband to say, “You have a baby boy!” You can’t feel badly after you’ve done that.
Did you feel prepared for your birth?
Yes, I was. I had learned some breathing techniques, and my friend would say to me, “Here are my texts, look them over” so I saw everything that could go wrong. But I was really really excited and prepared to have this baby. Everything as far as I was concerned was really positive. I didn’t really care that my mom and dad weren’t really into what I was doing.
How much support do you feel you had right after birth and your first few weeks at home with the baby?
I didn’t have anyone come and stay with me. A nurse came every few days to check in. But at that point, when I had my oldest, we were kept in the hospital for 7–8 days and we were taught how to care for your baby. It was a little bit like playing house before you took that doll home. They’d show us how to wrap them, how to put on a diaper, how to get the baby to hang onto the boob. My doctor came in while my oldest was trying to nurse and my son was making all these strange noises, but he wasn’t actually latched onto the breast. The doctor just sat there and nearly killed himself laughing.
On raising kids
What were your biggest struggles raising young children?
With my oldest, it was getting him to go to sleep and then sleep through the night. He wanted to stay up with the adults. You know, there was a cold remedy on the market with alcohol in it. Sometimes, I’ve give him a little bit, whether he had a cold or not… You’re going to tell people these answers and they’re going to say, “What an awful woman!” (laughter)
He also was a really strong and active child. By 13 months, he could shake one end of his crib back and forth until it moved out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I was afraid he was going to walk out the back door of that top floor and fall down the stairs. So we moved into a little house.
If you could do it all over again, what would you do the same and/or differently?
I started working when my youngest started grade two. So maybe I would have gone back a little later. Or maybe not. Who knows.
Did you have a favorite age or stage?
I loved the kids when they were 4, 5 and 10. Really, it started at 3 and it just kept getting more fun. Then they were big enough to go for walks to the playground, to have conversation and read stories. Before that, they’re cute, but when they start getting their own personalities and they’re over their Two’s with the “No… no, I don’t want to do that.” That’s when the fun started.
What was something you did to make it through tough days?
At one point, our neighbor had two girls who were just a half a year younger than our two older kids. On Wednesdays, I would take their oldest and my oldest to classes at the art gallery and on the way home, I’d pick up a pizza. We’d all eat together, the two moms and the four kids. We also traded off kids every once in a while.
On being a grandparent
What keeps you up at night about your grandkid(s)?
I worry about my grandchildren that are looking for work in their field and whether they’ll find work that is meaningful to them. I’m confident those who are already parents will bring their own children up with an education and a good set of values. You’ve all got your heads on right, and we’ve been relatively lucky in our family. We’ll just go with it while it lasts.
What do you love most about being a grandparent?
I love everything about being a grandparent. I carried baby pictures around when you were little. And we drove back and forth, back and forth, so many times to visit, first across the country and then later from Canada to Minnesota. We’d loved to have had you closer. You can still move closer if you want.
