My Birth Story: Kendra P.
During my pregnancy, when someone asked me when my baby was due, I would say “January 16th, but really anytime in January,” and I sincerely meant it. But then I passed my due date by two days. Then 7 days. Then 9 days. My patience (unlike my cervix) was wearing thin.
By this point, I was very grateful for an exercise facilitated during our birth class. We answered 20+ multiple choice questions to construct our ideal birth experience. Then, our instructor made us pick our top three priorities. Then our single top priority. That mental exercise really made me stop and consider all the worst case scenarios before any could come to pass. For me, it boiled down to having my support team with me. Good thing, because at this rate, my imagined cozy birth center labor was getting elusive.
At 11 days overdue, my husband and I took the day off of work. It was a Friday, and if the baby didn’t arrive by Sunday evening, we were checking into the hospital for induction. Might as well live it up (and encourage labor)!
We went out for brunch. Walked around the Mall of America — 4 times! You could say I was motivated. Had a relaxing dinner together and even had sex. Twice. Once again, very motivated. Plus, who knows how long it would be until we could have sex again? Spoiler alert: a good long while. Finally, we went to sleep at midnight.
No more than 30 minutes later, I woke up to the thought, Oh. THAT’S a contraction. The feeling reminded me of really bad cramps. The kind that make me just want to sit on the toilet for a while, then take two ibuprofen and go lay down for a couple of hours. For about 90 minutes, I labored on my own, just seeing if it would calm back down.
It did not.
So I woke my husband up around 2:00am. The next bit gets a little fuzzy for me because my contractions came pretty quickly, and steadily increased in intensity. Some things I remember:
— My husband was a champ and made sure I drank lots of water and even ate a couple snacks (applesauce and “energy bites”) that I’d prepared in advance.
— He did not get to eat his cheesey ruffles I’d purchased for him, because the smell was overwhelmingly revolting to me.
— I had the pleasure (NOT) of back labor almost the entire time. The only relief that helped me get through it was when someone — namely my ruffles-less husband — applied serious counter pressure on my lower back. Every. Contraction.
— My husband talked me through an image of “riding this wave” that was really helpful to me, but when he mentioned that I’d make it through future waves, I cursed him out. (Here’s a guide that could be helpful)
— We started out with soothing music, then had to switch to higher energy music to distract me. It was a good reminder to keep moving and switch positions even though it was hella unpleasant to do so.
— I definitely amped up my drama for the nurse midwife when she’d listen to my contractions over the phone. Still, it felt like we had to wait forever to get the go ahead to go into the birth center.
Ok, it was about 6 hours. Not that long. By the time we got the go ahead, my mom was at our place, so she was able to help relieve my husband and get me prepared for our thankfully brief ride to the birth center.
Once there, our midwife checked my progress and asked me if I wanted to know it. I told her to tell my husband, because I was terrified that she’d say I was something like 3 cm dilated. Lo and behold, I was already at 10 cm and ready to push.
The tub at the birth center was all filled and cozy looking, so I hopped in. Ok, more like I shuffled with assistance. I changed positions a couple of times, nearly pulled off my doula and mom’s arms, swore a lot (including at my own terrible song selection), and pooped (my eyes were closed, so not my problem). Then, at 11:16am my child was born.
Our midwife put the baby up on my chest and I very eloquently blurted, “I think I feel some balls.” Then, I had the honor of announcing my son’s name to the room.
I was so relieved to be done, and I am incredibly grateful for the support of my husband, mother, doula and the birth center staff. I am also grateful for our fantastic birth class facilitator, who gave us part education and part birth-experience stand up (this would be a very niche audience).
I felt so empowered going into my birth experience. Even when it was super intense and I was literally swearing that I could not do it, I knew in my heart that I was surrounded by love and I’d make it through. On the other side of all that commotion, I got to meet my baby.
