Very Normal

A lot of the time people tell me I’m weird or crazy and it’s just surprising because I feel as if I’m pretty normal. I guess they feel this way, because they have expectations of me based on the little they’ve seen, heard or know about me. So when I do something different, it’s like “This one is weird”.

I’m human, I have the right to change my mind, to see the light, to do things differently. I am not meant to be one way for the rest of my life, growth brings change, time brings change, change is inevitable, so it’s funny when they say people don’t change, some say it’s evolution, but evolution is change, no matter how slight, even if it’s just a shift.

Anywho, I’m currently single and I live alone, worst combo for someone like me because this means that I’ll almost always be at home in bed. I have noticed since uni days, that anytime I live alone (have my own space), I wouldn’t wanna be out as much. Even when I was in Serbia, I can stay in my room for a whole week, without passing the door, maybe only to go to church on Sunday, if I indeed go. Now when I state this or people notice this about me, they are really really surprised, because of how jovial, social and outgoing I seem on social media and all.

They are not wrong though, I am all these things, but I’m not that all the time. There is a time and place for everything, and I’m not compelled to be out and jovial/social all the time. I like my alone time as much as the next person, possible even more than you could imagine. In Serbia, my going out would most probably be to travel, of course I went out every now and then, but a lot less than people expect of me.

I’m a very considerate person and sometimes, I do too much for another person and take the back seat, so I tend to just need a break from being a good human, not by being bad, but just staying alone so I don’t have to deal or even think too much.

Even with dating, I meet people and I think they are cool and good company, they think the same about me and sometimes start to like me, but I would always decline further meetings with them because, maybe I know I don’t feel the same way about them, and I just won’t want to lead them on or use them for their company, but sometimes I feel maybe that’s not the best way to go, because if I don’t spend time with them, I may not know that I like them or grow to like them. After all liking someone is not always instant, it happens with time, but to be honest, I just enjoy the comfort of being alone.

I basically just decided to rant small.

I’m not weird by the way, I’m just someone with little or no fear, who likes to live a balanced life, so just be open, because you don’t always know what to expect, except to expect that I may not always do what you expect, you dig?

Take Charge,

Sonia.