Day 1 — Life as an ex-Hāfu
こんにちは！Namaste 🙏
My name is Rina, and I am a Japanese-Nepali currently working as an Account Sales representative at HENNGE.
What is Hāfu?🇳🇵🇯🇵
Hāfu, or Half in English, is a Japanese term used to refer to people with one Japanese parent and one non-Japanese parent. This word was constantly used when I introduced myself to Japanese people, as I have a Japanese mother and a Nepali father. I grew up living in both of these countries, speaking both languages and observing the various cultural differences each had.
Best of Both Worlds …? 🤔
I would get comments such as “ Eh Sugoi!” which translates to “Wow, that's awesome!” or “Urayamashii” which meant “I envy you” when I introduced myself as Hāfu. It felt very weird to me since I clearly did not feel “Sugoi” growing up.
I was always a foreigner, an outsider to my classmates and people around me in both of these countries. During my time in Nepal, kids in school knew me as the Japanese kid who spoke good Nepali and somehow had a Nepali last name. I always felt there was a certain distance between me and everybody as I would hear things like, “ You wouldn't understand it's a Nepali thing” or “ You wouldn't like it. It's not made for foreigners ”.
It also wasn't just at the school. Whenever I went out with my friends to museums or shops, people would try to overcharge me, assuming I was a tourist ( but then I always talked back in perfect Nepali, which reduced the price and increased the shock in their faces, needless to say, it was very fun to watch 😏).
And when I went back to Japan, it was the same thing all over again, but this time, I was the Nepali kid who was able to speak Japanese and use chopsticks well. The point is, as much as I was able to speak the language, was raised in a similar environment, knew the culture etc., I never felt like I was fully Japanese or Nepali (a perfect recipe for identity crisis🙃).
Hāfu or Daburu❓
I will never forget this conversation I had with my environmental studies professor, who had a huge role in changing the way I think about myself.
It was my first semester as a college student, and I was introducing myself to my professor as usual, talking about my background and how I was a hāfu. She looked slightly offended by the words I used, and I got very confused. Then she said, “You are not half or Hāfu; if anything, you are a double! You represent two countries. You are not less of one thing or the other !”. I stood there without a word, maybe a little longer than a normal pause, not knowing how to respond since I had never thought about it that way.
Including the conversation above, college time was when I learned more about myself and considered what made me me. I also met many people along the way with various backgrounds, some similar to mine, who all made me feel being different was okay.
Who I am ✨
Throughout these experiences, I learned that I could be both a proud Japanese and a Nepali. There was no need for me to choose one. I also now believe that my nationality or my parents’ nationalities should not control how I feel or see myself.
Currently, I try not to use the word Hāfu whenever I can ( I am not offended by the word and do not mind other people using it to describe me) to remind myself that I have many more ways to describe myself than just my nationality.
