A b**ch by any other name…
You see the group of men ahead. You pray that they let you walk past with no incident. They call after you…“hey beautiful, can I talk to you for a second?” Instead of stopping and talking to a random group of men, you proceed along your path. Then you hear it. “STUPID BITCH!” It stings as the words bounce off the back of your head, but you push on. This is a scenario that many women have and still do face.
Why do we accept this word? Why do we use it? Why does it even matter?
History Lesson
The word bitch is a derogatory term that has plagued women for centuries. Originally, the word just meant a female dog. Over the years it has developed into a nasty word often used to describe women. The first derogatory use of the term can be traced back to the 14th century when the Chester plays series used it in the line, “Who callest thou queine, skabde bitch??” Which translates to, “Who are you calling a whore, you miserable bitch??”
I imagine the use of this scandalous term sent a wave of shock through the theater. By the 18th century this term was considered “the most offensive name that could be given to a woman.” Back then its use meant a loose woman.
The Word Today
According to Webster, the formal definition of bitch is still a dog. The informal definition is now a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman. It can be found regularly in social media posts, music, and everyday conversations. If you are a woman reading this, it is likely that you have been called a bitch. If you are a man reading this you have probably used this word.
My issue with the use of the word is that it is being used by men to describe women they do not care for or those who have done them wrong, versus a particular person acting in a certain manner.
Sticks and stones may break my bones…but words can cut deeper to my soul.
I have heard the argument that using this term to describe a woman is appropriate in certain situations. Those situations include: a woman who is difficult or tough at work; a woman who lied to or on a man; a woman who is not pleasant in her response to your advances. I have even heard this word used by men as a term of endearment or “compliment” to describe a woman such as bottom bitch, bad bitch, or just my bitch.
My response, instead of categorizing every woman who does something you don’t like or worse a woman you love as a bitch — take a pause and think about what it is that truly bothers you about her actions.
A woman is difficult at work why? Because she expects you do to your job and produce a certain caliber of work? Would she still be a bitch if she was a man?
The woman who lied, if a man did the same thing what would you call him? Surely not a bitch. And why is a woman required to be sweet and open to men when they approach her? Maybe she does not want to be bothered — how does that make her a bitch? *cues Drake’s Nice For What*
A compliment? You do realize that the original definition is a dog — so how is saying I am a beautiful dog or a down dog supposed to make my heart flutter?
It is easy to throw out generalizations and phrases we heard spouted in our favorite song or from the lips of those we idolize, but you are better than that. We are better than that.
The next time you are standing before a woman and you feel the word bitch bubbling up, I charge you to choose another word to describe that woman. Instead of limiting yourself to this catchall phrase for “difficult” woman, I challenge you to explore the feeling that results in you using such a degrading term to describe the queens who walk this earth.
This piece is to make you think about the power of this nasty word before you use it. I end with a question; Would you call your daughter a bitch? Would you allow another person to call your daughter a bitch? No? Then why are you calling someone else’s daughter a bitch?
