Be Kind-er To Yourself

Do you:

Treat People the way you want to be treated, or treat people the way you treat you? Think about that.

I am often told, even by my closest friends, that I’m “mean,” or that I’m “too hard” on them. Even my romantic partners tend to tell me to “chill on them” or “lower my expectations”. But I can’t; I literally can’t help myself. You see, I always have this voice in the back of my mind painfully demanding that I work harder, achieve more, and experience more. Unfortunately, that same voice also manifests every once in a while when I’m speaking to a friend or a lover. The difference? They don’t need me to be that voice for them. We tend to see people as we are, and not as they are.

I treat people the way I treat me; with outstanding expectations, minimal empathy (unless I’m working), and extremely tough love. I am my biggest critic, and often my own worst enemy. There’s not much someone could say to me that would be worse than what I’ve told myself. Then, I was reading one day and ran across this exact question: “Do you treat people how you want to be treated, or do you treat people how you treat you?”

It dawned on me then that I have to lighten up on myself and those around me, or it’s going to be a wrap. I’ll bury myself so deep in a dark hole, and no one will attempt to save me. I’m learning that you have to speak affirmations to yourself: “you are worthy,” “you are enough,” “you are doing enough,” “success is already yours.” Take time to rest. I constantly feel like I should be doing something, then I hit a wall and sleep for two days straight. Rest, love. Most importantly, know and understand that you are exactly who you are, where you are supposed to be, and worthy of love.

Let’s take some time to refocus and recenter. Let’s be kinder to ourselves so that we can be kinder to one another. Be introspective without self-shaming. Let’s treat ourselves the way we want others to treat us.

xo- Meliabia