Sliding Vs. Deciding (Cohabitation)

Ever get to that point in your relationship where you’re ready to take it to the next level? Pondering the decision of, “do we move in together and split the bills or do we wait until marriage?”

I’m sure the lingering question has stumbled upon most of us at some point during a relationship.

This thought process is also known as sliding vs. deciding. Sliding refers to the phrase of taking the more convenient route of moving in with your significant other before making the decision to get married.

The viewpoint being that living together is a low-risk solution. If things don’t work out, we’ll just break up and move out.

I remember back in the day my grandmother use to say, “Make sure you get married before you decide to move in together, you don’t want to live life in sin.”

While this may be an “old school” way of thinking, a lot of our grandparents, great-grandparents, and even parents lived with this same mentality back in the day.

Sliding:

Things are definitely a lot different nowadays. Cohabitation has increased by a staggering 900 percent over the last 50 years, and with cohabitation comes a feeling of closeness and investment. But with this investment also comes some harsh realities.

You learn a lot about your partner within that time such as “Do they take out the trash?”, “Do they clean up after themselves?”, “Do they flush the toilet?”, And one of the most important and main suspects for arguments, “Do they pay their bills on time?”

So is “sliding” in together really that convenient if you’re faced with all the commitments of a marriage without the actual marriage?

Studies have shown that the major key to a healthy and satisfying relationship is moving through important transitions together purposely. Whether it’s deciding to have sex, moving in together, getting married, or having a baby, couples should make these transitions with clear expectations, intentions and plans.

Deciding:

While living in a culture of convenience and social media, where everything looks glamorous and easy, it’s still important for us to take the time to create memorable milestones and heightened drama for ourselves.

Making the intentional decision to get engaged sets the tone that you are personally deciding to start a new life with your partner, and the convenience part of it goes out the window.

Marriage proposals come from a place of intentional love and not convenience. And it’s a major life decision that binds couples together forever. Moving in together and into your new life as husband wife becomes one of the first choices you make towards the rest of your lives.

I spoke with Reginald Johnson, Regional Sales Director at Click Notices, about his experience living with his current girlfriend.

“I remember when Krissy and I met about 3 years ago in DC at a lounge called Marvins on U Street. She bumped into me while trying to get by and then we ended up talking. We had an instant connection because we soon realized we were both from Jacksonville, Fl so we hit it off from there.” — Reginald Johnson

After being together for 2 years, the couple made the decision to move in together once both of their leases were up.

“We were both living in separate situations with roommates, but were always at each other houses. She even had her own personal drawer at my house. So when it was time to decide on next moves; moving in together came natural.” — Reginald Johnson

His advice to other couples in similar phases of their relationship is to try out living together before marriage because you get a “test run” of what life will be like before marriage and it cuts down the chances of divorce

At the end of day, it’s totally fine to live together before marriage even if you don’t end up getting married at all. At least you’ll be able to look back and say, “Hey I tried it, it didn’t work out for me, but I lived life on my own terms.”

If you and your bae are on the same page, that’s the right decision!