Putting myself out there

I understood why my daughter staged an intervention. Maddie encouraged me to start dating even though her father, my husband, was living in a memory care facility. She came to this suggestion navigating the treacherous path of my unraveling. She watched me become increasingly unmoored, lost in a melange of inappropriate responses that usually involved unsolicited advice or judgemental observations. I was overly involved, not just in her business, but in everyone’s business.

I took her suggestion seriously but felt uncomfortable with the idea. I didn’t believe there was anything morally dubious in finding a companion with whom I could share my interests and my days, but I was worried about how it would look from the outside. We humans are quick to judge. I didn’t want appraisals of my actions to hurt anyone. “Do no harm” is a mantra that guides me.

Am I making you uncomfortable?

How would I go about meeting people or vetting a potential companion? The most popular ways of meeting new friends are through work or school or referrals through mutual friends. I wasn’t working, so that wasn’t an option. I wasn’t in school or taking a class. The handful of classes I’ve taken through community organizations have been populated by legions of women. Rarely has there been a consortium of men in attendance. I didn’t want to put my friends in…