You’re Too Available
A dude told me I should play hard to get.
I’ve spent a lot of time analyzing this statement a guy I dated made to me. “The problem with you is that you’re too available.” Those are the words he uttered. They were honest — painfully honest feedback. I was so available that it was almost a turnoff to date me. I needed to play hard to get in order to be interesting. Instead of readily saying yes to a date, I needed to play coy or make up some plans I had instead. Maybe I didn’t seem like I had a full life — therefore I didn’t seem like a catch.
Obviously this has made me think. Like really think. So much so that I’m going to write an article attempting to analyze it.
The guy who said this to me was someone I was actively pursuing. We’d spent a lot of time together. Not only informal hangouts, but public dates. He knew I liked him, but still hadn’t rejected me outright. In fact, he was still entertaining me. It’s worth it to say that I never slept with him and we don’t talk now. I was able to vet him enough to rule him out. One of his red flags was the fact that he was more attracted to unavailability and he was self aware of that truth.
He was the cliche of wanting something he couldn’t have. I think we all fall into this trap and complain about it. Our perfect partner is someone who doesn’t want us. We’re…
