Welcome to Hermette: The lifestyle magazine for aspiring they/hermits.
by Risa Mickenberg
Welcome, recluses!
Hermette launches a whole genre: anti-social media.
Hermette Magazine can help us connect to the fantasy of an ideal life where we leave the material world behind.
Being a lady hermit is hard to pull off. It’s hard to shed the emotional labor, which is why we need a magazine to amp the glamour of nada.
Hermette provides a way to disconnect from the clamor of the social networks, from the pull of feeling needed. It’s a way to connect to your own isolation.
It “lion-ness-izes” star loners, shy people, astronomers, philosophers, nature lovers, grouches, asexuals, foragers, individualists, outcasts, woodshedders, and barren babes.
It has recipes like foraged mussels and watercress salad for one.
It launches a sense of style that ranges from nudity to deep experimentation to not caring that your pants are on backwards.
It reads separation anxiety as separation envy and lets us loose.
It helps women cultivate clarity, perspective, detachment and deep thought.
It explores the revelations, the big ideas, and the deep thinking that can happen only when you dip a naked toe into the ocean of possibility.
It celebrates the twelve volume reading situations. The listening to of one thing for weeks on end. The unrelated. The absurd. The self-directed. The internal debates.
It’s isolation porn. Photos of hermitages and huts and hideouts. The foraged dinners by candlelight. The windblown hairstyles avec weeds.
There are rants. There are essays. There are illustrations. There is fiction.
It comes out only when it feels like it.
It has a website but it’s private; you must subscribe to it or find the magazine somewhere because it will be “distributed,” a.k.a. left in funny places in the hopes that you find it so it doesn’t have to find you.
The point is to create a new feminine ideal: aloneness with your thoughts.
Will actual lady hermits subscribe? Do real musicians read Musician magazine?
It’s kind of a hilarious notion- the idea that any lady hermit would care about having community or support for what she does.
Because the beauty of being a Hermette is never worrying about fitting in or being accepted.
That’s what makes it so “aspirational.”
Hermette Magazine also does away with the editorial we. Rather than saying “our” Hermette coins a more fierce and feline-like determiner: “mrour.”
Mrour motto at Hermette Magazine is: There’s a hermit inside all of us waiting to stay in.
Sign up now so you never miss a rare and precious issue!
FAQs
Q: Which way is Houston Street?
Q: Do you have a minute for Planned Parenthood?
Q: Do you have a Duane Read loyalty number?
Q: Can I get you another pinot grigio?
Q: You all set here?
Q: Can I get that out of your way?
Q: Is that your wallet?
Q: Did you mean to leave that unbuttoned?
