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A Family Feud Created A New York Icon
Caroline Astor and her nephew battled it out over who the real Mrs. Astor was
Caroline Astor ruled New York’s social scene when she married William Astor. Her view was that old money needed to continue to be classy, and that new money should not be tolerated until a donation was needed.
Mrs. Astor consolidated her power with Ward McAllister. They created a list of acceptable people, called The 400, and not being on the list meant being cut off from high society. Or worse, having to hang out with the railroad barons and other tycoons that represented the new wave of wealth.
Out of respect for her mother-in-law, Charlotte Gibbes, Caroline used the title of Mrs. William Astor for many years. When the older woman passed, the powerful socialite took the title of “The Mrs. Astor.”
This didn’t shock people, it was widely expected. In most circles, they already referred to Caroline as “the Mrs. Astor,” but only in private. Nobody dared disrespect Charlotte in that way.
However, not everyone was thrilled with Caroline’s decision. Her nephew, William Waldorf Astor (Waldorf) believed that his wife should be given the title. Not only were they accomplished in the social scene, but he had inherited the bulk of the Astor estate.
