Dear HSSS: Should a Financially Unstable Man Pursue a Relationship?
He Said: No, no and NO!! In today’s society any and everything is contingent on how much money you have and how much you can spend. Don’t take this the wrong way, because there are plenty of successful relationships that are not based on the man being financially stable. However, there are also plenty of women who mold their expectations of a good relationship based off what they see in their lives. Which today ends up being television, internet and social media.
When you’re dealing with a woman surrounded by these things there are certain things that have to happen. Frivolous gifts and dinners and trips. Things that should be the reward of contributing to a great relationship. But in today’s times many females think that these things in fact MAKE a great relationship. So they become expectations and requirements instead of loving gestures.
So with those expectations up front my answer to today’s question is…. NO. If you don’t have the extra cash to randomly do these things you shouldn’t be pursuing any type of relationship more than friends.
Allow your socializing to happen naturally. Worry more about enjoying your own life and making yourself happy. And if you bump into a person at the right time in the right state of mind who you share similar likes and views and beliefs… Maybe, just maybe you will become more than just friends. Don’t allow your relationship status to dictate your happiness or success.
She said: I think it depends on WHY is he financially unstable and IF it’s a temporary situation. For example, if he is in college and he is temporarily low on cash because he is trying to further his education. Then I think he is still dateable. Or if he is trying to fix his credit so he is paying down his debt so he is financially in a better place in the future.
I am more concerned with how he manages his money and not how much money he has. Like does he pay his bills on time or does he put off paying them so he can buy himself or me an expensive gift?
If he works part-time, does he make sure to keep his expenses low in order to stretch his limited funds or does he blow all his money at the club so he can have fun for one night? I want to know if he can make wise choices with his money or is he irresponsible with his money.
Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not he has a plan to get himself financially stable. Or is he comfortable being broke or letting the woman pay for everything. If his limited finances are a permanent issue and he has no plan to fix his money problems…then for me it’s a strong NO when it comes to a date. I cannot see myself supporting a man indefinitely because over time I will slowly lose respect for him and I will begin to resent him for not helping me pay for stuff.
So ladies, when you come across a guy that is trying to get his act together and is honest about his financial situation and has a solid plan on how to get back on his feet…Then we should consider dating him. If anything, it shows he is capable of dealing with his issues upfront and that lets me know that if things get rough for us in the future, he will know what to do to get us back on track.
Life is unpredictable…yes we want the easy road and the expensive dates/gifts but the reality is many of us live beyond our means or we are rebuilding our lives because of poor choices we made with our money in the past. So let’s be open to dating the guy who is trying to get back on his feet AND he is taking steps to get his finances in order.
