She said: Absolutely…there is a one. I believe that for each of us there is that one who completes us, accepts all of our flaws, makes us feel secure enough to let our guard down and pushes us to be better. Now that being said, I still have not found him yet or maybe I did but ended things too soon.
I do know that I have reached that point where I am tired of dating. I have had too many dating disasters with Mr. Not The One. As a naturally curious person, I love to meet new people, which in turn led to me dating way too much. Maybe those dead end relationships existed because I needed more time to figure out who I was, what I wanted in a mate and when I would be ready to settle down.
No disrespect to the females that dream of or plan their wedding day in their heads, but I am not like that. Don’t get me wrong, I want to get married…I am just not in a rush to get to the altar. I also do not want to settle for the wrong guy either.
I want to be sure that he is my “one.” And for me, the one is the man that calms my restless spirit, pushes me out of my comfort zone to grow in all areas of my life, helps me resolve conflict instead of avoid it, cares for my children as if they are his own, brings me peace when my world is falling apart and last but not least loves me on those days when I am unbearable.
I realize that this is a tall order but since I have kissed and dated too many frogs to count…I will wait for the man that comes close to this. I think God sends your one when you have a better relationship with Him and a better relationship with yourself…then you are ready for your “one.”
He Said: I think we put too much thought into who “the one” is. We also put too much pressure on ourselves to find “the one”. Realistically, this is a daydream. One of your three wishes from the Genie in the lamp. You could have all the requirements of “the one” and finally meet someone perfect for you and they fit NONE of these qualifications.
I think this is one of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships. We let our vision or opinions of how a relationship should be or how a mate should act determine how much we enjoy being in the relationship. We hold people to these standards that we technically can’t prove are right or wrong. It’s very hard to tell someone what’s perfect for you if you’ve never experienced it.
So we let our perceptions outweigh reality and we never give people a chance to be genuinely themselves. We tend to try to force them to be what we think is best for us and we miss out on the individuality of the person we care so much about…
In closing, don’t worry about finding the one… focus more on being comfortable enough to allow the one to present themselves to you.
