She said: I would not share the password to my phone or any of my accounts (i.e. email, Facebook, bank account or credit card) with the person I am dating. I value my privacy and I have nothing to hide but if I give someone access to ALL of my information on my phone or in my account than our relationship is headed in the wrong direction.
“Seeing more doesn’t always reassure. Sometimes having access to more information just gives you more to worry about. One study in 2009 found that simply being Facebook friends (without any password swapping) has that effect on couples” (Forbes 2012).
When it comes to sharing phone/account information, boundaries are important in a relationship. We should have separate lives and we should not monitor what the other one does or says. If we decided to be together, then we should trust one another.
Yet many of us have been hurt in relationships before, so we want to prevent someone from hurting us again. Thus, we try to catch the cheater before he acts or block anyone from stealing our man.
But you cannot force him to be faithful or committed to the relationship. You can’t control what he does on his phone or online but you can control how you react to a situation.
Instead of spending time lurking on his page or in his phone, take time to evaluate the man you chose. Is he faithful, loyal, trustworthy, honest or reliable? How does he act with you, with his friends or with the opposite sex?
Be open to trusting the guy you are dating until you have a VALID reason not to trust him. If you want to build a GREAT relationship, then you need talk to him about your concerns when you think he is being unfaithful.
He said: Would I share passwords to my personal things with my significant other? Hmmm…. No. I would not. I don’t really see the point.
I think people put too much emphasis on this. You can have access to a person’s phone and still don’t know that they’re cheating.
I think people are more concerned with what their significant other is doing elsewhere than what is going on within the relationship they have together. People have lost faith in relationships and are actually looking for a reason to run.
According to Kashmir Hill, “when you share your password with someone, you open yourself up to the obvious downsides suggested by the Times — obsessive scouring of a significant other’s account for signs of infidelity and using the access for sabotage when a relationship goes sour” (Forbes 2012).
Personally I’m not concerned at all with what you do with your phone. What I’m concerned about is are you being who I need you to be in this relationship.
Can I count on you to support my ideas and endeavors? Can I depend on you for emotional support when I’m dealing with tough times? That’s what’s important to me.
Having the password to your phone is not a life or death decision. Even in a relationship both parties need their space. It just depends on how the parties involved spend their time apart.
If you can’t go through his/her phone, it doesn’t mean that that they are cheating. However, wanting to go through each other’s phone shows that there is an issue between us that needs to be addressed.
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