#WDW — Worst Dates Wednesdays
We have all been on a bad date. Some of them are worse than others. Every Wednesday we will share a story about a worst date, our own or someone else’s.
He Said: Let me tell you all about a bad blind date I went on.
It was some years back. It was a warm summer day and I’m hanging with my bro while he’s on the phone with his girl.
I said to him “Yo cuz does she have a friend? Hook me up!.” Man, I shouldn’t have said that. I found out that his girl had a cousin, we decided that all of us would go to the movies at the mall.
I drove to pick up the girls and we parked across the street from the address. There was a small group of dudes outside near a corner store.
Eventually the girls came out, his girl came out first and then out came my date. The dudes on the corner started laughing. Now I didn’t catch it at first, but I will. There was grass and bushes in front of their steps so I couldn’t see her or her shape yet.
I caught a glimpse of her and the size of her leg. She was very curvy and I’m not attracted to curvy girls but for some reason they LOVE me. Now maybe I’m tripping, but every one of those steps she took to get out of the house to the car I swore the ground would shake.
They got in the car and I cursed my homie out in bro code the entire ride! I couldn’t believe this dude would let this happen to me! I told him how much he would owe me for taking one for the team.
Next, we decided to stop at a 7-Eleven for snacks, but only the girls got out. I noticed that my date bought about $35 worth of snacks and a ½ gallon slurpee, SMH. Once the girls came back to the car, his girl moved to the backseat and my date moved into the front seat. Lawd please help me!
At this point, I was disgusted. I went back to cursing my homie out in the bro code as we drove to the movie theater. Things continued to get worse.
Next, my date changed the station on my radio. Okay, now we had a problem. I went into my best Chris Tucker impersonation about NEVER EVER EVER touching a Black man’s radio. It was hilarious but I was mad as hell at the same time.
FINALLY, we arrived at the movies and ordered our tickets. Now the movie did not start until 45 minutes later. His girl said, “Let’s walk through the mall.” So my bro and his girl walked through the mall enjoying each other’s company, even holding hands at one point.
Guess what I did… I walked about 10 steps ahead of them and went into every store I wanted to as if I was there by myself.
When we were inside the movie theater, I sat on the same side as my homie. Once the movie ended, I drove like a NASCAR driver to drop those girls right back where they came from.
That was the LAST blind date I ever went on and even to this day one of the worst.
She said: So here is my #WDW story but I changed a few facts so I didn’t embarrass this young man. So I meet this guy, let’s call him J, in NYC.
Now J had GOALS — he attended college full-time, owned a house, had a car and worked full-time. I felt like I had found a unicorn — sorry guys but it is RARE that you find a young man who has ALL of his stuff together.
Eventually we agreed to meet up in NYC for dinner. He decided that we would eat at a Jamaican restaurant.
The day of our first date I met him in the Village section of NYC. J pulled up in a very nice SUV and it was SUPER clean on the inside. He just earned 10 points.
Once we arrived at the restaurant, we were seated at our table after a short wait. The waitress returned to take our order. Unfortunately, things started to go downhill from here.
I started ordering my food and he interrupted me so he could order for me. I kindly told him that I didn’t like the dish he ordered for me. He tried to convince me to try a vegetarian dish because it was good for my body.
This leads to a VERY long and serious discussion about how he was a vegetarian and didn’t eat fast food or drink soda. I pretended to listen while I ordered the Curry Shrimp dish with a Ginger Ale.
He gave me this disgusted look because I ordered a soda and I told him that I ate McDonald’s. Thank goodness that our food arrived just in time. I thought well at least I could eat while he talked about himself and vegetarianism.
We ate our food and discussed how good the food was. He then said how I needed to try his soup. I watched in horror as he slowly dips his spoon, NOT MINE, in his soup.
He pushed the soup towards my mouth and feed me. I had no time to close my mouth and now the soup was dripping all down my chin.
I was disgusted and wanted to throw up…like I didn’t know him like that and I rarely eat after people. In my mind, I thought I have to end this date.
But like most bad dates, this one went on forever. After dinner, he did not ask me but decided to drive me around Queens so he could point out all the nice attractions.
I guess he was still upset about my eating habits because he played a Rastafarian CD on his radio during our ENTIRE drive, which discussed the benefits of eating right and proper nutrition.
I had to pretend to go to sleep in order to get him to take me back to my car so I could go home. No, we did not go out again.