3 Ways UX Thinking Helps Me Be a Better Working Mom
A writer’s approach to modern motherhood and achieving (the ever elusive) work-life balance.
Every morning around 5:30 am, I wake up to the sound of tiny feet walking down the carpeted hall as my four-year-old comes into my room for a cuddle.
It’s a sweet start to the day, but an early one — and after caring for my child, doing my work as a freelance copywriter, and performing household tasks like cleaning and cooking, I usually put in about 18 hours total.
This is the reality of almost every working mom I know. By the time we sit down to start our workday, we’ve already put in a full morning of work. And once we leave the office, we’ve got a whole evening of tasks booked solid.
That’s not to say my husband doesn’t help out; he does. But our lives, like those of most parents, are busy — and every hour is spoken for. So how do I keep all the moving pieces moving?*
For me, the secret is simplicity — a key best practice in UX copywriting as well. Here are three others that help me be a better working mom.
#1. Use progressive disclosure
When organizing a family outing, planning for the week, or managing all of our different schedules, progressive disclosure — sharing the most relevant information in order of importance — helps me get everyone on the same page.
After all, my four-year-old couldn’t care less about the details of an outing; he just wants to know whether there will be snacks and dinosaurs. My husband, on the other hand, is happy to spearhead planning, but starts glazing over if I get too in the weeds.
So how can progressive disclosure help you balance work and family demands? Here are two ways that work for us:
- Define your core “features.” Just like a strong headline at the top of a home page hooks a reader’s attention, knowing the core features of your goal at hand is incredibly helpful for navigating everything on your to-do list. Whether it’s a family zoo trip or getting into the office early, starting with the high-level goal helps get everyone on the same page and interested.
- Use a hierarchy to share information. Not every reader wants to know every detail about a product or service — and the same holds true when you’re communicating with your family. My son, for example, only wants to know in the broadest of terms what we’re doing each day. For me and my husband, it’s all about collaborating on who does what to get us out of the house.
#2. Have a clear Call to Action (CTA)
As a shy introvert, I used to find divvying up tasks and giving people clear direction difficult. But since becoming a working mom, I’ve found that I simply don’t have time to not ask for help. I’ve learned the hard way how to ask and receive.
That’s where having a clear CTA comes into play, both at home and in the office. People can’t give you the help you need, no matter how skilled a collaborator you are, if you’re unclear. After all, 90% of visitors who read your headline also read your CTA copy, so why not your home “team,” too?
Next time you’re struggling because you have all the things on your plate, try using a clear CTA to break up the load:
- Employ active voice. It may be copywriting 101, but using active voice in all CTAs is a must. That’s because active voice is more effective than passive voice at driving action. And this also holds true when asking for help at home. The most effective change that’s helped me succeed? Changing the language of my requests from passive to active (“Do you want to go to the store today?” vs. “I need help with the grocery shopping today. Do you have time in your schedule to go to the store?”).
#3. Test, test, and test again!
Last, but not least, testing. In UX, it’s vital that you stay curious — so that you can make things better. And in my personal life, I’ve found the same applies to my work and home to-do lists, because being curious means I’m committed to improvement.
For example, I’ve been managing mornings with my son a certain way since he’s been in school. But lately, I’ve been having a hard time getting us both out the door on time. My husband suggested a new way of approaching things (based on his own experience doing drop offs twice a week), where, instead of letting my kid stay in his PJs after breakfast, I get him dressed in his clothes for the day, so he’s able to transition more smoothly into leaving the house. It’s a small change, but a big one, and it’s helped me keep momentum going.
While you won’t have time to run A/B tests on your life, here are two ways testing can help you find balance on the fly:
- When adding a new change to your life, see how it impacts everything else. I recently took on a new client, and it felt like my whole world turned upside down. I initially cut out self-care, since I was so busy getting up to speed. I also felt like a bad mom because I found myself working in the afternoons after pick up. I adapted, found my groove, and worked those self-care and quality time routines back into my day — scheduling 15 minutes for myself to exercise and making sure I have my work done, so that I have afternoons free to take my son to the park or library without having to look at my phone constantly. But if I hadn’t evened out, I would have had to drop the client — because family comes first, and I have the luxury to make that kind of decision right now.
- When you feel sick, tired, or just worn out, pay attention to the fact that you’ve got too much on your plate. I know it’s hard to admit you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, especially when you’re inundated with wundermamas on Instagram (who never let their children eat processed sugar, always look amazing in photos, and somehow manage to turn their obscure side hustles into successful home businesses**), but it’s important to know your own limits. And nothing will confirm this more than your wellbeing, which leads me to my last point…
Find time for you
Women carry a lot in our culture, especially when it comes to balancing work and life — which can make prioritizing either at any given time very difficult. And it doesn’t help that women perform great quantities of labor that don’t get paid.
In fact, a recent report from the United Nations found that women do 2.6 times the amount of unpaid work that men do — including tasks like caring for elderly parents, managing household expenses, cleaning, and cooking.
That’s why finding time for yourself is so important as a mom. And as hard as it may be to do so, feeling guilty just sabotages your alone time. So get out and find an activity that nurtures your soul— so you can have the energy you need to conquer your work, enjoy spending time with your kids, and nurture the friendships that keep you sane.
*I did not want to dive into the emotional labor of modern motherhood in this post. But I do want to call out its impact on us all, that the first step is recognizing it in your own life, and that I’m just starting to figure out how to untangle it for myself.
**If you’re one of these amazing people, mad props to you—I have nothing but respect for your hard work. I’m not judging you, but rather wanting to call attention to the toxic culture that pressures all women to perform a perfect ideal.
Special thanks to Bonne Marie Bautista, and Laura Palotie.
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