Get Paid: Negotiate A Raise

We created Flock over a year ago so we could have space to ask and answer each other’s questions. Without a doubt, the questions we get most often are about money: how much should I be making as an intern? What is the cost of living here? When is the right time to ask for a raise? How do I negotiate my salary?

Although we set out to open these very conversations, there’s one question that keeps me from joining in: “What do I know?” Or: “Who am I to tell you anything?!” I’m only six and half years into my career — I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way, and learned a lot, but I don’t have all the answers.

But what makes Flock great is that we’re all about working against that feeling and rewriting that narrative. We DO know things and we ARE qualified to share what we know.

I want to share what I’ve learned and what other brilliant women have shared with me. The negotiating advice in this post comes from my personal experience, advice from Kathy Hepinstall, Nicole Karalekas, my peers, Ladies Get Paid events, the hostage negotiator book Never Split the Difference and countless articles on how to ask for what you want.

Asking for more money isn’t something you should do out of the blue on any given Tuesday. It takes thought, preparation, and confidence. We’ll start from the beginning so you can start planning the moment you’ll make your case to get paid what you deserve.

Let’s get started.

Source: Ladies Get Paid

No matter what you’re negotiating for, the first question you should ask yourself is: Did I earn it?

Be honest with yourself. There are people who come early, stay late, and always come through for their teams. There are people who hide in plain sight, won’t work weekends, aren’t dependable, and let their teams down. Take an honest look back at your year. Write down the times you performed above and beyond. What projects are you proud of? How have you grown over the year? In what small or large ways have you helped your agency grow?

Looking at those accomplishments, learning moments, and contributions, ask yourself again: did I earn it? Once you’ve answered yes, it’s time to start planning how you’re going to do the damn thing.

Again, asking for a raise or promotion is something to plan for. The more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel. Here’s a timeline I’ve been using to prepare for my annual reviews. Get your next review on the calendar and work backwards from there.

About 3–6 Months Out

• Start talking to friends and co-workers to get a qualitative sense of what they’re making. All your girlfriends should know what you make and vice versa.
• If you don’t have them set up already, have monthly check-ins with your manager to ensure you’re tracking against your goals
• Start writing down a list of all your accomplishments and contributions

About 6–8 Weeks Out

• Flag that your 1 year, or 6 month review (depending on the review cycle in your office) is coming up with your boss. Put time on their calendar talk about your career path, and how any current goals or projects are helping you get there, and what else you may need. (Tip: Make sure you let them know the topic of this meeting so they can come prepared!)
• Continue to be vigilant about documenting your accomplishments.
• Begin to craft the business case you can make on how you’re providing value to the company — have you helped win new business? Have you developed a great relationship with your team? How about clients?
• Start forwarding and sharing any good notes or praise to your manager.

Charlotte from Sex and The City

• Begin doing research on what people at your level and your desired level are making. Find the ballpark, take the higher end, then add a little bit. Some good resources are: Glassdoor, Ladders, Payscale.com, Salary.com, and Indeed Salary Search and this VERY helpful google doc.
• The uncomfortable truth is that you won’t have more leveraging power than when you get another job offer. Consider whether it’s time to start looking at what other companies would be willing to pay you.
• If you go in with a new offer, make sure it’s one you’d be genuinely excited to take. If your company won’t match, leave. Why would you want to stay at a company that doesn’t value you?

Less Than 1 Month Out

• Ensure there’s time on your boss’ calendar to discuss your career path and goals. (Tip: Again, make sure you’re super transparent on what this conversation will be about. The last thing you want to do is surprise them!)
• Start practicing in little conversations with friends. Write it all out, read it aloud, ask your friends to roleplay with you. Trust me, the most prepared wins the conversation.
• Think through the worst things they could say to you — what would make you cry? (Remember: it probably won’t be any worse than what you’ve imagined. If you’ve already considered the worst possible outcome, a medium outcome won’t shake you.)
• Be prepared for the question: “What if we don’t give it to you?” The best answer is not “I’ll leave.” Correct answer: “I’ll be disappointed but hopefully we can revisit it at another date.” OR “What would it take to get to yes?”

1 Week Out

• If you’re feeling less than confident, have a chat with your most empowering and encouraging friends. Remember sometimes that they see you better than you see you. Ask yourself what your Gayle King would say to you?

Day Of

• Do something that morning to get you excited and ready! Maybe it's going to the gym early, or making a bomb breakfast, or stopping to get your favorite coffee.
• Wear what makes you feel most badass but also comfortable! You don’t want your clothes to distract you.

JVN, of course.

• Practice some self-talk. Say it to yourself “I can do anything I put my mind to.” and believe it. You have to believe your own self-value and If you don’t believe it why would anyone else?
• Ensure your boss is in the right mindset. Be aware of their mood and what they have on their plate. Keep in mind that If they’re overwhelmed or stressed, it might not go as well.
• Have all your accomplishments readily available to discuss.

During

• Breathe!
• Use this language: “I’d be very happy with __________.” Happy is a good word that flavors a conversation with a certain optimism.
• Be aware of your body language and especially your nervousness — twirling hair, playing with pens, fidgeting. Keep breathing and relax as much as possible. People feed off the energy you put out.
• Remember pregnant pauses are good. Don’t feel the need to fill the air with talking.
• Take the emotion out of it. Keep in mind that they’re running a business and you’re running the business of you. This conversation is a business transaction.
• If it starts to go bad, calmly say, “Let’s revisit this another time.”
• They probably won’t be able to give you an answer immediately but here are some ways to handle different scenarios — Yes? Yay, congrats! Now make sure you set new goals and begin to work toward them. Not everything you asked for? Find out what else can be offered that’s not monetary i.e. vacation days, conference attendance, classes, etc. No? Ask what you need to do to get that number. Go do it and set up time for another conversation in 6 months.

Afterward

• Set meetings to follow up in the 3–6 months.
• Send a written follow up, even for an informal conversation. Put everything in writing. Put. Everything. In. Writing. (Tip: It can be as simple as “Thanks for the great meeting, just want to make sure I captured everything we discussed…”)
• Finally, congratulate yourself for following through with these steps, and asking for what you want, no matter how it went. The best thing you can do is get comfortable asking, even if it isn’t always a yes.

We hope this can help you cultivate the confidence to make sure you’re getting paid what you deserve. Remember: Everyone is uncomfortable talking about money and their accomplishments. It’s your duty to yourself, your fellow Flockies and female peers to start talking about money today. You can help de-stigmatize the conversation! Practice. Talk to your friends and family, and most importantly, support your friends in their journey to get paid as well.

We’d love to hear if you have any advice to add or if this advice helped you! Email, text, tweet or DM us. If you shine, we shine too :)

Rihanna, the Queen