How To Write A Cold Email People Will Actually Respond To
By: Madi McCallum
The cold email is one of the most scary, yet potentially rewarding parts of networking. The right message at the right time can lead to a new job, mentor, or friend.
I used to be paralyzed with fear and uncertainty whenever it came time to draft a cold email. I would start a new draft only to end up just staring at it. Or worse, typing and retyping a subject line only to abandon the effort altogether. I’d overanalyze benign phrases and, most especially, my use of exclamation marks.
That is until I found something that changed the way I approached networking and personal relationships altogether: How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. In his book, Carnegie shares two very simple lessons that, when applied to professional communication, can be complete game changers:
- Speak in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make people feel important with sincere appreciation.
To give you an idea of what these lessons look like in practice, here’s an example LinkedIn message I recently sent that aims to fulfill both (names and details have obviously been changed).
Hi Sally,
Thank you for accepting my invitation. I wanted to meet you because I saw that we’re both University of Oregon alumni working as Project Managers in San Francisco. Go ducks!
I see you work at AgencyX. If you’re open to it, I’d love to know how you like it there and what you think of the company. I’m at a crossroads in my career and considering freelance work. Would you recommend AgencyX as a good place to be a freelance PM?
I’d be grateful for any insights or nuggets of advice you’d be willing to share. If it’s not already obvious, I’m eager for mentorship from strong women in the industry.
Thank you,
Madi
This message was well received; Sally wrote me back, answered my questions, and offered to meet with me. I later received an offer for a freelance position at AgencyX.
Here’s why this message was effective and how it might be customized.
Part 1: Intro
Hi Sally,
Thank you for accepting my invitation. I wanted to meet you because I saw that we’re both University of Oregon alumni working as Project Managers in San Francisco. Go ducks!
When cold emailing it is important to establish why you are showing up in the recipient’s inbox. That reason should not be “because I want a job.” While you may not have something the recipient wants (which would appeal to their interests), you should still aim to make a human connection.
The example shown above works especially well because the recipient and I have several things in common (alma mater, field of work, and location). Chances are you won’t have this much in common with everyone you send a cold email to, and that’s okay. The goal is to be authentic and personable.
Part 2: The Ask
I see you work at AgencyX. If you’re open to it, I’d love to know how you like it there and what you think of the company. I’m at a crossroads in my career and considering freelance work. Would you recommend AgencyX as a good place to be a freelance PM?
If your recipient has read this far they can probably guess that you want something, so get straight to the point. By keeping your message succinct, you’re communicating that you respect the recipient’s time.
Whenever possible, appeal to the person’s interests (read: ego) by posing questions in a way that gets them talking about themselves (e.g. “I’d love to know how YOU like it there and what YOU think of the company”).
Part 3: Give Thanks
I’d be grateful for any insights or nuggets of advice you’d be willing to share. If it’s not already obvious, I’m eager for mentorship from strong women in the industry.
Thank you,
Madi
This is your opportunity to make people feel important by showing sincere appreciation. Let your recipient know that you are thankful for their time. If it feels authentic, wrap up your note with a sincere compliment. By including “I’m eager for mentorship from strong women in the industry,” I’m implying to Sally that SHE is the kind of strong woman in the industry from whom I am seeking mentorship. Reading this will likely make her feel good. Sincere compliments (not to be confused with cheap flattery), make people feel important, and if you can make people feel important, you are well on your way to winning them over.
Lastly, sign your email with a “thank you.” As a rule, I always sign off cold emails with “thank you” rather than “thanks.” I do this to communicate that genuine gratitude for the recipient’s time and consideration. To drive home Carnegie’s point one more time: a good cold email is NOT about the sender, it’s about the recipient.
Consider these strategies the next time you have to draft a cold email, and hopefully, you’ll save time and greatly reduce the stress of networking. And if you have not already, read or listen to How To Win Friends and Influence People, It will not only make you a better networker but a kinder and more empathetic human.
Madi is a freelance Project Manager living in San Francisco. She grew up in Grants Pass, Oregon—a town most people from Portland, Oregon can’t even point out on a map. Follow her on Twitter or connect on LinkedIn.
