Emma Pindel, strategist at ROKKAN
One evening right before I moved to New York, I went to hang out with my godmother Maricel. She’s an artist and that night decided to recreate Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus” on the side of her Volkswagen bus. The sun was setting so I asked her if she needed more light to continue painting. Maricel laughed, “Where’s the fun in being able to see exactly what you’re doing? In life, half the joy of making is not knowing.”
And lemme tell you — as someone who was about to uproot her life cross-country with little-to-no plan, this was such a gift to hear.
Nowadays, every time I’m worried that I don’t fully know what my next move is at work/in personal life, I think about how not knowing has the opportunity to be joyful, too.
Sarah Sharp, creative at Mother
In the past, as I’ve prepared myself to negotiate a raise or promotion, something that always gives me pause is the fear that I will be viewed as selfish or greedy for asking for what I think I’m worth. At our Flock event last May, our panelist Brittany Castaneda from Daily Harvest shared some advice I think about all the time.
“You are not greedy because you want money. All of us want money and need it to live our best lives. It is your responsibility to make money so that you can be comfortable in your life and you can make a difference in whatever way is most important and meaningful to you.”
Many of us assume the weight of morality when we’re trying to assert our worth. But: “It is your responsibility to make money.” Now, this quote has become another tool I can use to defeat that inner critic, looking for any reason to undermine me. And it’s a great reminder that as we get opportunities, we can turn around and offer more wisdom and power to others. Hence why I’m sharing this quote again today.
Nicole Karalekas, freelance creative
I read the book “Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown (highly recommend) and it talks a lot about the fear of being vulnerable and perfectionism. I’m paraphrasing, but the general sentiment was: “Your job is not to be perfect. Your job is to show up, do your best, and have the courage to be seen.”
Whenever I feel that perfectionism or fear of failing creep up I remind myself: “My job is not to be perfect. It’s to show up and be seen.” So much of the pressure we feel, we put on ourselves, I often need to remind myself where it’s coming from. ♥️
Amelea Renshaw, strategist at Anomaly
I was talking to my boss about impostor syndrome and how I didn’t feel confident telling our GCD at the time that I thought his approach was all wrong. She swiftly sat me down and said, “Look… if you hire a contractor to fix something in your house and they pull out a hammer but hold it upside down… you’re going to have some questions. The same applies here. If something feels off, don’t assume it’s right. Make them explain it to you like you’re 5. Because you’ll either learn a new way to use a hammer OR you’ll realize that these people who you THINK are smarter than you (because they’re older, have more experience, etc.) don’t deserve to be on the pedestal you put them on.”
Rachel Ellam, creative at Mother
It’s hard for me to think about advice in the form of quotes so instead, I thought of people who I would love to live like… one being St. Vincent. She’s a goddess and also we have the same Meyers Briggs personality type. Heh. And I found something that really resonated with me:
“You can’t apologize your way into people’s hearts … You have to go full force.”
I know as women, we’re often told that we apologize too much, but a lot of the time I think these conversations come across as shaming women for something, instead of understanding the reason behind why. I’m guilty of holding myself back out of insecurity and feeling like I can only give so much of myself to certain people and want to continue to remember this little bit of advice moving forward.
Chelsea Coleman, strategist at ROKKAN
My favorite piece of advice from our Flock event that really stuck with me:
“You can make as many mistakes as you want, but try and make them new mistakes.” — Valerie Nguyen
I also always keep in mind the great advice Leslie Brennan—my former boss, general life icon and good friend— has shared with me. Things like: “You can be nice AND you can be interesting. It’s a false dichotomy to have to choose one to succeed in advertising” and “find the redeeming in what you do — even in small tasks” and “Think of your life in chapters of 5–7 years. It’s ok to not have your entire life figured out, just take it in chunks of time and think about what you’d enjoy doing.”
Kasey Coffey, creative at Shiseido Americas
I recently read Michelle Obama’s memoir and this quote sticks out to me now: “For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”
This sentiment of bettering ones’ self has certainly been stated many times in many different ways, but this idea of continuously pushing yourself forward in big or small ways is something that always keeps me going.
Kate Rohrich, creative at MRM//McCann
One of my favorite instagramers/bloggers Anna O’Brien is always super open about all her ups and downs and I love a lot of the realness she posts. For me, as someone who deals with a lot of daily anxiety, this quote from one of her posts really resonated with me:
“How many moments in your life have you missed because you spent your time preparing to exist perfectly in them, rather than truly experiencing them? If you wait for perfection, you’ll always be waiting. I’d rather live my life imperfectly learning, growing and improving as I go, than sit forever on the sidelines fearful of my own imperfection.”
I also think this quote relates really well to the pressure as women we face to be perfect and to have to work so hard in every aspect just trying to be considered equally. And it’s okay to just learn and mess up, because by trying so hard to be perfect, we can actually tend to hold back and limit our own growth.
Colleen Cass, strategist
Cheryl Strayed is the woman who wrote “Wild” and she also is an advice columnist. She published a book called “Tiny Beautiful Things” of her best advice. Someone asked her what she would tell her 22-year-old self and my FAVORITE line is “you have a life, not a career.” The full piece is here.
Spice Walker, strategist at ROKKAN
I grew up with my mom blasting Patti Smith as we drove down the Sunset Strip in Hollywood, and subconsciously knew all of her songs by heart. About a year before I moved to New York, I decided to read her book “Just Kids.” It tells the story of her younger days as an artist in New York during the 60s and 70s, with the perfect blend of romanticism and ruggedness. And when I moved to New York, I went through moments of both. Things would be everything I ever imagined, and other days I would feel a bit down on myself. What am I actually doing here? Will I actually make it here? Am I good enough? Do I stack up to everyone else who is here?
At one point during my internship, I came across this quote from Patti Smith that stuck with me: “If you feel good about who you are on the inside, it will radiate.”
I needed to stop worrying about every other person in this city, and focus on what makes me happy. What makes me feel complete. What makes me feel most creatively inspired. And what makes me feel sure of myself, even in a city where at the times I felt uncertain. This woman’s words helped me radiate.
Cheers to all the women who’ve helped us make our way and find ourselves along the way. Happy International Women’s Day!
Love,
Flock
