Find the best fit, ask these questions to make the right college choice
Guiding a child through the college selection process is challenging. For most young people, it’s their first significant life decision in which they have a say. You want to help while getting buy into the right choice.
I suggest prompting them to view choices through some different lenses.
To guide them and the process, ask questions about the physical setting, institution size, distance from home, and school reputation. These questions are often secondary in the process but primary to success.
According to College Atlas, fully 70% of Americans attend a four-year college, while only two-thirds of them graduate. A full 30% drop out after the first year. Financial issues are drivers, of course, but for many students — they didn’t pick the right school for themselves.
It’s a daunting task to choose a college, especially for the high schooler that lacks experience and knowledge. College tours are remarkably similar to one another, and visits are expensive. Most parents and students face with a large number of suitable choices for academic suitability and expense. I have attended college tours at over twenty schools in 11 states. I have paid for four children to attend college (2 graduates so far, two underway), and I also have two more children at home who will be making these decisions over the next few years. I have had many conversations with young students about their college selection process. The challenge is there are too many options. There are multiple offerings in many bands of affordability/choice of every study area.
After academics, what else can make a college choice one that sticks? A choice matches the student’s desires for lifestyle and finding a place they can flourish. As an aside, most students change their major three times, so the choice of study area is not the sole criterion. The good news is most majors are available across a spectrum of schools.
The standard way of approaching college selection is widely covered. After considering what a student wants to study, use your student’s preferences of criteria for narrowing down choices. The criteria of size, setting, and distance from home can only be applied if your student knows what the options mean. But how does a never lived-on-their-own young teenager know enough about what those criteria would mean for their daily experience? You have to talk with your student to elicit genuine and accurate assessments of these criteria. What students think they want or like is often very different when they experience it first hand.
How can a parent help a student discover their valid preferences for size, setting, and reputation? How can a parent advise a student to make a strong match and have a better chance of completing a degree? Meeting them on their maturity and experience level and asking questions that are open-ended and cause them to consider what life with any school choice would be like for them.
Setting
Students often consider only how they will live as a student. But wherever they enroll, they become students and become residents of the city/town/state/country.
Ask your student this question about the setting to get the conversation rolling.
“What do you want to do with your free time while at school?”
Yes, academics are the reason you are investing time and money somewhere else but lead with this question. It is not about academics or study, and will get your student considering other aspects of life. They will be more open to musing about this out loud with you. There is no wrong answer to this question, and your child should feel less pressure to open up. You want to start a dialog, not have an interview. Of course, after the first year, social and recreational opportunities off-campus become more critical. Asking this question will get ideas from your student about life outside the classroom. How do the settings of the various college options support the non-academic activities of your student?
Keep in mind, you may want to limit the appeal of non-school activities if your student is immature — but having this conversation will help you learn that. (The setting of the college also speaks to the level of potential distractions. The town of Athens, Georgia, has 80 bars in a one square mile area steps from the campus of the University of Georgia. That can be ideal or a recipe for disaster. )
A Covid-19 note: For the next two academic years, a school setting may be more material. If dorms shut down or classes go digital, the local environment becomes more critical. Leases cannot always be broken, and as many families discovered this last year, you may be paying for an apartment or housing regardless of class attendance. It may be something to consider when thinking about the setting. If your student ends up with the majority of time outside the classroom — what do they want that setting to be?
Size
A significant number of students drop out because they don’t feel connected to the school and other students. And that occurs with every size school. Size is a critical element of fit and happiness for the student. It is more how the size relates to your student’s personality and social style that will define your student experience and connectedness.
Ask your student:
“Compared to high school, do you think your circle of friends will be more abundant?
What is their preference for socializing? Large groups or smaller ones? With our kids, it runs the gamut. One loves a large social circle, while another has three close friends. Clearly, a large social circle can be formed at a small school and vice versa. The impetus is to personalize their desired social situation and how the school’s size will influence it.
“Is it important to you to meet new people even as upperclassmen continually, or do you think you will like knowing most of the other students in your major?”
This question should get your student thinking about their preference for classroom experiences. Do you like the idea of small intimate seminars at a professor’s office, or do you think you prefer large lectures with high presentation value? Both experiences are possible at any size college. Still, this question should uncover your student’s comfort level and preference for school size because small seminars are more prevalent at smaller schools, and large lectures are the norm for schools with large student populations.
Distance from home
Some students want to spread their wings and go far away to college; some need to stay closer to their home base. With our six kids, the break down is half and half. In many American states, an in-state student can choose schools between a one and six-hour drive from home. Some students will only come home when the dorms are closed. Others need the touch point of home with regularity. The distance to school doesn’t matter to the former while it is every important to the latter.
The distance from home is one of the material factors in drop out rates. Studies show that sixty-nine percent of college students experience homesickness. (Skyfactor study)
Students often overlook the possibility of being homesick. The focus is to consider here is the student’s preference on distance, not yours. Yes, even though you are paying for their education. Yes, even though you are more comfortable having them closer to home. Yes, also though you want to be able to drive to them for a meal. Having more school options that match your child’s lifestyle and desires will increase chances of them making a successful match, and increase the likelihood of success.
To find out how a distant school may provide a different experience than one closer to home Ask the student:
“Are there hometown events you’ll want to come back from college to attend?”
Setting aside a homecoming game, for example, consider what the student is connected to locally. Family events, weddings, births, anniversaries also factor in this equation. Taking the time to list these qualifies the impact of distance from home.
“Could you see yourself skipping a big weekend at school, like a home football game, for a weekend at home?
The answer may change after they’ve seen a few big weekends, of course, but understanding how much of an option it is and whether they would exercise the option will guide thinking. Many students will have reliable answer — never, maybe or yes.
School Brand Reputation
Your student can’t appreciate how many times in life they’ll answer the question -”Where did you go to college?” It is a very general introductory banter for most adults. At a young age, we didn’t realize how many times over a lifetime we’ll answer the question.
Aside from the Ivy League and worldwide standouts like Duke, Stanford, Vanderbilt, etc., most people don’t know the academic standing of most universities. After the top tier, most reputations of colleges and universities are regional. Here in the southeastern U.S., for example, the Universities of Florida and Georgia are strong academic institutions. By comparison, the Universities of Alabama and Tennessee are considered a lower tier. However, all four schools are known nationally and likely associated by most people as having the same level of academic rigor.
I don’t advocate a student choosing based on school brand and reputation, because it doesn’t influence fit. Instead, I suggest the student evaluate their pride and emotional attachment to being associated with the name and reputation. How much will it matter to them?
Ask your student:
Have your friend’s parents asked you where you are considering going to college? What did you say? Did they know your choices?
You are trying to elicit how your child talks about their choices and if they care if others know of their candidates. Did the parents comment or ask questions? What were the student’s answers? The conversations introduce the student to reputation and their connection to it.
For a lesser known choice, they will have their first experiences of explaining the school. Which is valuable, since they end up doing that for the rest of their life.
How much does it matter what others think of your school?”
Yes, this is a tough question for a high schooler to answer. After posing it, direct the student to ask college graduates they know and respect about their experience. If you’re a graduate, share your own. The goal is to provide insights into the graduate’s long term relationship with their school, their pride in the association with it, and their experience of the school’s brand awareness. Even someone sharing that “no one here knows my school, but I loved it” highlights that a decision doesn’t have to be made on the school’s reputation.
Ultimately, there are lots of great schools and schools that could be great matches for your student. These questions should give you insight into your student’s current state of mind and allow you both to focus on narrowing the choices. For the student, matching these factors are essential for fit, happiness, and success. They’re also tools for them to use in making their first big decision.
You can also relieve some of the selection pressure by supporting a change. I have told each of my students that I would support them transferring schools one time. I did this to ease the burden of the original decision and give them the freedom to change it.
Broadening the selection criteria will enable them to narrow the choices. And it will drive a holistic outcome suited to them — environmentally and emotionally.
