What I’ve learned watching Grey’s Anatomy — seasons 1 to 10
Just in case you’re wondering, yes, there are *massive SPOILERS AHEAD*
Grey’s Anatomy will always have a special place among my beloved tv shows. It was the first tv show that I fell in love with and had to binge-watch; it also introduced me to the whole tv show’s universe.
The moment when I watched it was also special: it was my last high school year and I had just moved to a new city due to my dad’s job, so I barely knew anyone. When I heard about the show, I didn’t think twice and just dove into it. And the first episode was more than enough to catch my attention, so I went on and devoured the 6 seasons that were available at the time in less than three weeks. And then started the suffering of waiting for the fall season to get fresh episodes.
I still watch Grey’s Anatomy (yep, I’m waiting for the 17th season anxiously); I stopped watching it sometimes along the way (first after the plane crash episode, I really loved Mark and Lexie; then again when Cristina left; and once again after April and Jackson lost their baby). But after a while, I always started it again. As I said, Grey’s will always have a special place on my tv show list. And after 16 seasons of love, anger, laughter, and tears (mostly tears), I have to say that I’ve learned a lot of things with this show. And I would like to share the ones which I believe to be the most important, one main lesson per season until season 10 — after all, it’s a lot of seasons.
Season 1: Relatives and family are two things that can be really different
Most of the characters in the show don’t have a good or close relationship with their blood relatives. However, the friendships and relationships they build with each other are a way stronger bond. They work together and they are each other’s family. It doesn’t mean that whatever you work you will find people like that. It just means that it’s okay if you find your friends are more like your family than your relatives. And it’s okay if you’re close to your parents and relatives too. What matters is that you feel comfortable, loved, and supported among the people you consider to be your family.
Season 2: No one has the right to decide your value for you
A great part of the show goes around Derek and Meredith’s relationship; and several times, Derek was kind of a jerk to Mer, and season 2 brings a lot of that. After lying to Mer about being married, cheating on his wife, and choosing her over Meredith, for some reason in the universe he thought he would have the right to point his finger and judge Mer’s choices. He goes on to actually calling her a “whore” for doing what she wanted. Mer states clearly that he has no right to call her that and he cannot say how she is supposed to fix the damage that he did. This scene is classic and gave me an important lesson: no one besides you knows your pain, so how you decide to handle it is your problem. And no one, ever, has the right to call you a whore.
Season 3: Do not shrink yourself to fit someone else’s expectations
Cristina taught me this one, over and over again. The one time she really considered to be someone else to fit Burke’s expectations she ended up eyebrowless, being cut off of her wedding dress with scissors and left at the altar; and still, everything that she did was not enough. So I’ve learned that we need to embrace our own potential and be all we can and want to be; we should not dim ourselves to make others feel more comfortable with their own insecurities.
Season 4: Mental health is as important as physical health
Since season 1, Meredith never hid that she had her fair share of personal traumas: her mother’s situation, her father’s abandonment, and a lot about her childhood. And at the hospital, it was not different, and she just went on to gather more and more on her plate. At some point, she just assumed that all of her dark and twisted feelings were normal and that she should just suck them up. Until she starts to see a therapist (Dr. Wyatt) in season 4 and properly addresses her traumas and feelings. And step by step, as a process, she starts to actually get better. This was so important to Mer that, when she told Yang that she was considering quitting therapy, Cristina begged Dr. Wyatt to not let Meredith give it up because of how much progress she was making.
Season 5: Accepting help from people you love is not a weakness, is a strength
When Izzie figures outs she is sick, she decides to tell the one person she thought wouldn’t care: Cristina. But to her surprise, Cristina is not on board with her plan of just ignoring it: she looks for treatments and tries to convince Izzie to fight it, and when she isn’t able to do it, she tells Alex and Bailey. And when all the others find out, they all unite to help and support her. At first, they may not be doing their best (as Bailey makes clear that they should do better on the next day), but they keep trying, and they are just there for Izzie; and because of that support, she decides to fight her disease and, eventually, wins. I learned that we don’t have to face our problems alone; if it gets too hard or if it seems too much, we shouldn’t be ashamed of asking for help and accepting support from our loved ones.
Season 6: Grief is a process, and there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’
Season 6 starts with a lot of sadness and grief after the traumatic finale from season 5: finding out that George was the John Doe who dies after being hit by a bus hurts everyone in different ways. So the show goes on to teach us the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and how each person faces them in different ways. So I learned that you should feel the pain, and you should do it through your own process — there is no perfect formula to handle it. And after that, eventually, you will be able to move on. Just take your time.
Season 7: Sometimes growing up means being alone
For me, season 7 is extremely emotional: we see each one of our beloved doctors handling the traumatic events from the season 6 finale in their own way and struggling to get back on their feet. And with that trauma comes a lot of change and growth. In the first episode of the season, we are reminded that change is inevitable, and the only thing we can be sure that it will always happen. And in the 5th episode, we have another iconic closing about growing up. And this one is stuck with me. Growing up is not always pleasant and exciting; sometimes can be painful, exhausting, and challenging. You have to be bold and fierce to accept the change and understand that growing, a lot of times, means letting things and people you’re used to getting behind you. And that can easily become lonely and uncomfortable but, most of the time, it’s necessary so we can get what we want and even become happier. Who knows, sometimes we have to take a chance, otherwise we get stuck wondering what could have been. As someone wisely said once “Sometimes we need to be brave enough to outgrow the life we’ve built” (unknown).
Season 8: Don’t be so hard on yourself
April Kepner is presented to us in season 6 during the hospital merge. She started off as a very disliked character and gets fired very soon for missing a basic test that results in a patient’s death. She comes back later and we start to know more about her: she is religious, a virgin who wants to remain like that until marriage, and she becomes extremely exigent with herself following her initial error. All the pressure she suffers as a resident combined with the pressure she puts on herself results in a moment of self-relieve when she has sex with Jackson during the resident’s oral boards. But instead of getting more relaxed, she just adds up more guilt and pressure, and finally, she fails her final exam. She had become a better doctor because of her mistake in the past but that wasn’t enough. So I learned that if we don’t forgive ourselves, accept our failures, and even cut some slack once in a while, we’ll end up overwhelmed and unhappy. So learn from your mistakes, become a better version of yourself but, at some point, let that go. Forgiving yourself and accepting your imperfections is a requirement for happiness.
Season 9: If you love someone, tell them. No matter what.
The iconic advice from McSteamy to Jackson is one of the lines I can’t forget. If you love someone, just tell them. It may seem complicated, and it may cause a lot of problems, but you gotta put it out there. You have to let them know so they can have a say about it and you can do something too. Even if it’s moving on. Be honest and be brave to express your feelings (yes, it takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable). Sometimes, people can surprise you; and other times, it’ll be just what you expected. But that’s okay. You have to know to truly let it go and move on.
Season 10: You’re your own sun, don’t let anyone eclipse that
Aw Cristina, we miss your wise and sharp lines. And you could not have left the show with a better one. At her last episode at the end of the 10th season, Cristina blesses us with this pearl of wisdom. Seeing that Meredith was dimming herself for Derek (again), Yang remembers her that she is her own sun; no matter how shiny and special Derek was, it didn’t give him the right to eclipse Mer’s shine and make her think less of herself. She was the badass doctor and the freaking sun. And that taught me that I should not forget my value and my dreams. Sometimes we tend to lose ourselves in a relationship, but we can’t let that happen. Any relationship requires admiration and respect to work out, and that can’t happen if one person eclipses the other.
