The Difference Between Wanting Change and Being Ready for Change. Oh, and cats.

One-thousand words on cats, desire, change, and being prepared.

Just going to get this out in the open first thing. I am a cat person. Not like crazy, cat person. I currently own zero cats ok? But I did grow up with all kinds of animals (read dogs and cats). For me, cats are the superior pet.

Ok, now on to how that has anything to do with wanting. A story…

When my wife and I bought our first house we thought it would be a good idea to get some pets. Cats — of course — were what I wanted. She agreed, despite being allergic — you were and still are the best Amber 😘. We did some research, found a vet school near us that put their cats up for adoption at the end of each semester. They come mostly grown up, vaccinated, fixed, chipped. It’s a great set up.

We picked up two cats and named them Grizz and Lizzy. Little did we know that naming them after 30 Rock characters would be a foreshadowing of their characters. Grizz was amazing. Laid back, massive, even keel temperament. Lizzy on the other hand. Well, she had a few… issues.

The largest problem she had is that she didn’t really have what I would classify as indoor cat manners. She peed on everything. Tore up the carpet. Meowed at all hours of the day and night. She was an indoor cat with the spirit and heart of an outdoor cat. In her sweet little kitty cat heart, she wanted to be free of the oppressors of her existence. No higher beings or authority telling her what she can and can’t do. She wanted wildness. She wanted the sweet free living that comes with hunting for your own food. Chasing squirrels. Attacking birds. Clawing trees. Hiding in the grass. None of that I could provide her in my home. And as a result, she protested.

So fed up one night with her bad manners, I kicked her out. I opened the front door. Tossed her out onto the porch. Went back to bed. “Good riddance Lizzy. You monster of a cat. No more of you in my house.” I thought.

Except I didn’t go back to bed. Being the responsible cat owner I am (and lover of cats at heart), I watched her from the window, seeing what she would do. Would she embrace her new found freedom? Would she accept that her true destiny was out there and not in my home?

She did not.

She stood on the porch. Frozen. Back hunched. Hair and tail sticking to the sky. She did not take a step. She did not know what to do. In her heart she was wild, but in her experience all she had known was domestication. And now that she had finally gotten what she wanted, she did not know how to accept it.

I think in many ways, I am not that different from Lizzy the cat. I often try to buck systems of authority and constraint when they are ill-conceived or without purpose. I’ll fight against the status quo when it is not rendering what I think it should. I’ll raise a concern. Illustrate or exemplify the wrong as I understand it. I’ll do what I need to in order to make it known that something — as it currently stands — does not work and should change.

And sometimes… it works. The agenda is heard. Circumstances improve. Hooray! Except, when I reflect back on those times. I failed to change with the change I so deeply desired. I was just like Lizzy. Frozen on the porch. I was suddenly in the environment my heart wanted all along, but I was ill prepared for it. The change came, but I couldn’t accept and embrace it because my heart and attitude weren’t ready to change with it. So I’d often just stand there. Dumbfounded. Not knowing how to proceed.

I don’t think I am the only person guilty of this. We’ve all heard the phrase be careful what you wish for. Like Lizzy and I have found out, it might just come true.

At this point, I do want to offer encouragement to anyone who has found themselves in this situation. As the story of Lizzy illustrates, it’s not enough to only raise your voice. You can’t only simply want change. You have to also be prepared to embrace it. You have to be ready to accept the moment when the tide swings in your favor. This is hard to do. Because even in the midst of us raising our voice, we unconsciously begin to grow comfortable and make piece with the bad situation. And we as humans can be so deeply opposed to change, that even good change can catch us off guard. They say the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know — and to some degree — I agree with that.

So, what should we do when we find ourselves in this situation? What I have found to work is to have a plan. I needed to think past simply wanting change and begin to plan for when change does happen. When you find yourself unexpectedly on the front porch of life, what do you need to do to step off that porch and go confidently out into the wild? When you can answer that question, and the time comes, you’ll be ready.

I am sure many of you are likely wanting to know what happened to Lizzy the cat that night. Did I leave her outside, exposed to the elements? Did I let her back in? Did she decided to accept her fate and live in a more civilized manner or run off in to the dark wildness? Well, here is what I did: I let her back in. My heart is too soft to let animals suffer needlessly. However, my sweet wife (allergic to cats remember) started getting more and more sick with both of them around. So sadly, both Lizzy and Grizz were put back up for adoption. I wish the best to both of them. And to Lizzy, I hope she’s figured out what to do when she’s put out on the porch again. If I am honest, I hope we all can figure that out.

Have feedback? I would love to hear it. You can find me on Twitter if it’s short, or just drop a response below. 🙏 Thanks!