Rhythm of Solitude Part 2
“Paul Tillich has a beautiful formulation: ‘Language . . . has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone’” (Reclaiming Conversation by Sherry Turkle).
Fear of Solitude
When you are alone with nothing to do, how do you feel? Do you glory in your alone time or do you itch for your phone to fight off the feeling of loneliness? How do you “kill time” while sitting in the doctors office or at the DMV? Where do you find your mind going when you’re waiting in line, stuck in traffic, or on your lunch break? Well, I think that question is different for everyone, right? If you asked those questions to my wife, who is followed literally every waking moment of her day by a toddler, she would say, I can’t wait to be alone! My alone time is what keeps me sane. For most moms, simply taking a shower without a toddler beating down the door or trying to get in the tub is a rejuvenating moment! So why is the almost euphoric moment of solitude so glorious for some and so tortuous for others? Maybe those of us who are around people all day long or encounter people often find ourselves retreating to our phones so we can avoid having to truly interact on a meaningful level with other humans. After-all, relationships take work and they can be messy, but our phones can be controlled, curated, and clean. But even as I write, I still don’t think that’s the only reason. Neglecting time alone and true meaningful solitude can’t just be about wanting to avoid humans. I think there still is a deeper problem rooted here. I believe that it isn’t just the desire to avoid others that is our problem or motivation. I think it is the fear of ourselves that is the underlying issue. For us as Christians, add to that an avoidance of God that feeds our neglect of solitude.
The Neglect of Solitude
The opening quote said that solitude is a word meant to express the “glory of being alone.” But for so many of us, being alone is far from glorious, it can feel more like boredom we felt as a child when we were put in the timeout chair for acting up. We fear being bored. We fear being alone. We fear for a moment having to think about our eternal destiny, the state of our soul, or our relationship with Jesus.
But for Jesus Christ, being alone was indeed, glorious. It is when he was alone with His Father in heaven that he found true power and tapped into the source of his strength his intimacy with the Godhead, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. He got alone and he prayed (Mark 1:35). He prayed to know his Father more deeply and to obey His will more clearly. Yet, conversely, when we’re alone, we distract our minds away from the true source of peace and wisdom by manufacturing temporary hits of distractions through our screens. These temporary hits of online social interaction and connectivity only last so long until they can’t push aside the built up stress any more and end up causing live altering bouts with anxiety and depression. It is when we neglect true solitude, the solitude that means we are alone “WITH” God. Not just alone, living like a hermit, for that does no one any good. But the solitude of being alone with God, the source of peace for all of mankind. The one who commanded the storms to “Be Still.” We ought to find our peace by resting in his divine ability to calm the raging waters of our lives. This happens when we follow Jesus by practicing the rhythm of solitude and being alone with God and being comfortable enough to let God be alone with ourselves.
