Fuck what I weigh. And what I earn. And what I own.

I’m having coffee and toast in a little cafe on Blues Point Road this morning, and thinking about the new year. Thinking about what I want it to be like.

You know, most every year since I was a teenager, I’ve started January 1 with a clear picture of how much I want to weigh, and how much I want to earn, and all the things I want to buy…

But not this year.

Those lists have never really made me happy. Accomplishing them, failing them, either way, I wind up feeling empty.

And after the past year, more than ever, I have been struggling to imagine a 2018 in which I can be full, and whole and happy. So I’m approaching the year in a different way. A new way.

This year, I’m not focused on weight or money. I’m focusing on three things:

  • What I create
  • What I feel
  • What I stand up for

I want all my work to be pushing those three elements of my life. My goals are going to focused on them. Every day is going to be focused on them. I want to create more art, create more writing, create products that make a difference to real people’s real lives. I want to feel calm, and I want to feel…like the world isn’t caving in on me.

And I want to stand up for the causes that deeply matter to me. LGBT+ representation and youth, domestic violence, diversity and feminism.

All I can hope is that in January 0f 2019, I’ll be able to look back and feel that I’ve done a little better, by trying to focus on a little less, and ensuring that focus is going where it needs to go.