How to hack your romantic relationship for ~maximum efficiency!

Being in love is a wonderful thing. But how much more wonderful would it be if you could maximize your relationship’s efficiency? We all know it’s important to hack every aspect of our lives and accomplish more — why not throw romance into the mix? After all, you want to know if your relationship is a success…

Step one — track all intimacy on a spreadsheet

What, you mean to tell me you’re not already tracking and visualizing the brief moments of intimacy you and your partner have between jogging at 5 AM and drinking warm water before you start your days as digital nomads? Come on. Get your shit together.

Step two — use the Pomodoro technique for all sexual activity

You don’t want to waste time or lose focus. By keeping your physical intimacy to strict 25 minute bursts, you’ll be able to knock that aspect of your relationship out with speed and agility. Perfect.

Step three — establish a Slack channel for romantic communication

Most dates are a waste of productive time. You’d be surprised how much more romance you can flexibly accomplish by having your 2 person team communicate and collaborate on your romance via Slack…

Step four — automate and outsource where possible!

You can use a platform like IFTTT to automatically send periodic messages to your partner expressing love and affection throughout your day. If you want to add a little more intimacy, try hiring a freelancer on oDesk to ask your partner about their career goals / hopes / dreams!

Step five — initiate standing dates

Did you know that sitting is the new smoking? From now on, make sure all your date nights are spent standing up uncomfortably. Both you and your partner will stop wasting time, and combined with the Slack channel, you’ll be able to cut any superfluous romance down pretty fast.