The Year I Lost All Focus

I want to talk about what happened when I lost all focus on growing as a person. I spent an entire 12 month period feeling lost. Feeling listless. Wandering without any real purpose.

I don’t think I even picked up a book for that whole year. I watched TV. I drank a lot. Looking back, it was actually kind of fun, but the larger point is, that it was a year in which I had 365 opportunities to do better, and I blew each and every one.

Eventually, I got off the couch, accepted that the business/life/relationship failures that had driven me to lose focus were okay, and got back in the saddle.

When people look at my life today, they might not see that. They might not recognise it. They might not even feel an echo of it, but it’s there. I know what it means, and how it feels, to lose all sense of direction.

And here’s what I learned. Human beings aren’t meant to be able to sustain constant and endless personal growth. We’re not meant to be machines, and we’re going to have to deal with the fact that we suck…sometimes.

We’re going to have “hotel years” – periods in which we know we aren’t excelling, periods in which other folks might recognise failure, or a proximity to the edge of it.

But you get through that. You get through it, and you keep moving. Working on growing as a person is important, but sometimes embracing the chaos and the mess and the hangovers and the rough mornings is important too.

More than important – it’s okay.