ThinkWeek #3 — Day 5
I actually slept in a bit this morning, feel like my brain needed some extra R’n’R after the last 4 days!
So, after an extra 1.5 hours sleep — because you know, sleep cycles. I got up, smashed the SAVESR routine (remember I moved “reading” to the end), then sat down to think about goals for the day.
As I’ve been feeling a bit more tired, I’ve decided to ease up a bit. I’m not here to “just read books”, but immerse myself in some good words/thoughts and see what happens. Therefore, today was pretty simple:
- Start reading “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”.
- Finish the day a bit earlier and get plenty of rest. 😊
Want to make sure that my last day is productive, and my brain has time to marinade all the good stuff that’s gone in over the past few days!
Enter the Millionaire Mind
I’m only half way through the book so far, so will wrap up my final thoughts tomorrow.
The first thing that really springs to mind when I think of this book?
I needed to read “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” a long time ago.
I’ve openly admitted in the past that my “relationship” with money isn’t good. I come from a family that never had money, couldn’t hold on to it and haven’t been debt free for as long as I can remember. As much as it pains me to say it, they probably never will.
It starts with your programming
Eker starts strong. In various samples he’s pretty much describing huge (and in places, painful) parts of my life.
Eker outlines what he calls the “Process of Manifestation”:
- Programming leads to Thoughts
- Thoughts lead to Feelings
- Feelings lead to Actions
- Actions lead to Results
“Programming” refers to — in essence — “all the things that were said, done and happened” around money. This is the place to start when it comes to getting a healthy relationship with money.
For me personally, this evoked (still very strong) memories of (this list is far from exhaustive):
- “Do you think we’re made of money?!”
- Pretending not to be home to debt collectors go away.
- My mother, coming home late at night after working crazy long hours after cleaning offices or toilets.
- Breaking down in front of a bank manager, pleading for them to freeze the overdraft fees on my account.
- “Money isn’t everything, you won’t be buried with it.”
- Having to choose between “buy a geek book” or “better food” (than pasta and ketchup).
- The shame of being a financial mess and having absolutely nothing to show for it, other than more mess.
Now, before I move on — I want to make it very clear: There is zero criticism or lack of gratitude towards my family (particularly my mother). She always did the best she could with what she had, and I wouldn’t be here today if it were not for her.
We just need to look objectively and say “you know what, this isn’t a great way for us to learn about money.” No-one is born with the knowledge — we develop it over time through what goes on around us.
This environment did set me up with “less than ideal” starting conditions. As we discovered yesterday from “The 80/20 Principle”, they can really change outcomes — especially over time.
The key take away, my “programming”, my base operating system for my financial matters is broken.
But money isn’t everything
I grew up hearing this all the time, from everyone. It almost pains me to type this, but I have to, because Eker was right when he brought this up in the book.
Everyone who says this is broke!
It’s true, when I think back — the people I knew who were wealthy never said this. The people who were broke said it all the time!
Eker hits the nail on the head in the book:
Money is extremely important in areas where it works, and extremely unimportant where it doesn’t.
Read that again.
Money isn’t everything when it comes to love, because money can’t buy you love.
Money is everything when it comes to getting a penthouse suite next to the sea.
Comfort or conscious design?
Fast forward to when I am a young man, out trying to make it on my own:
- Savings isn’t even on my radar.
- I spend what little money I earn because it’s never going to stay/someone will take it.
- I’m just not destined to be “rich” — money goes to money right? Well, I don’t have any, so…. Shrug?
But it’s cool — I know that if I work — everything will be OK right? There’s money to be had! I’ll work and make me some MULAH!
So I got to work! I worked and worked and worked. I got better at the CV-matching game. I wake up every day and do my best. I’ve managed to get to a point where I earn what would be considered “pretty good”. I’m debt free! I’m really comfortable now! That’s… good, right?
Here comes the tough pill to swallow.
It’s not good.
It’s not good because when I sit back, I think and I be brutally honest with myself. In many ways, I’ve played from the comfort zone.
Random tidbit: It’s not all bad! The area I grew up in (a large state housing estate where many families are on some kind of government support) is the only home I’ve lived at that is aggressively targeted by same-day (extortionate interest) loan companies. I was once asked to interview with one of them for a job. They seemed shocked when I said “over my dead body” — I hate the pain they intentionally cause. It felt amazing to be in a position to tell them to get lost😊
We’ve become so obsessed with celebrating toil that we forget we should actually be looking for how we can provide the most value to as many people as possible. Put simply, money flowing back to you is society’s way of saying “thanks, that was great”.
- You don’t take value to the masses being “comfortable”.
- You don’t get rich by playing it “comfortable”.
- You don’t get penthouse apartments just by bumbling along being “comfortable”.
Growth is always outside of your comfort zone.
But to grow, you need to know what/where you want to grow in to.
Herein lies the problem — most people don’t know that.
Myself included. Why do you think I included “Find Your Why” and “Side Hustle” in this ThinkWeek? 😉 I’m 33 and having some weird mid-life crisis just as much as the next one!
You’ve got to make conscious choices and go beyond wanting things, beyond choosing things and instead committing to getting what you want!
To quote the book:
Committing is the Warriors Way. You either get what you want, or die trying.
It’s on YOU, and only YOU.
As I’m reading through the book and seeing all the excuses that I’ve used myself appear in black-and-white, almost word-for-word — I am reminded of Jocko Willinks book, “Extreme Ownership”.
If you are any part of the equation, do something. It’s about checking the ego and taking decisive action.
I got out of debt because I was committed to a plan. Frankly, I’ve not committed to any kind of financial plan since then. I’ve been failing myself.
I’m only half-way through this book — but I like the conversation with it, and where it’s taking me.
Looking forward to carrying on with this tomorrow!
Be awesome.
